Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind

A Tale Of Two Dreams

2008-04-12T05:01:00.001+05:30

Well last night I saw two dreams; both were contrasting to each other. Here goes the first one. We are a bunch of guys near a waterfall, the sound is blaring. The water is looking pure white after breaking in the air. There is a stonewall kind of thing so that no one falls in the waterfall. Suddenly I see one of us jumps in the water. Surprisingly he survives; in fact he is enjoying hanging there with a net. A few guys jump in and I also jump in. Crazy bunch of college kids. The thing is it was fun and without any fear. Next thing I see is a lush green university campus. We are in a hostel or something. There is some kind of unnerves ness going on. Suddenly I find this room with a hatch where a few guys are trying to keep the hatch cover closed and someone is trying to come out of it. I went closer and found out some kind of strange ghost is trying to come out. They didn’t seem harmful though. There is this gal with a slinky dress who is pressing the hatch with her legs and with the other two hands is holding some kind of a pipe structure to balance.Must say she was looking damm sexy. She is not able to balance herself, so I jump on the hatch, hold her tightly in one arm and pull her closer and with the other hand I try to grab the pipe and balance. But in spite of all these effort somehow the ghosts manage to come out of the hatch and start to run away. I see each and everyone and their faces are changing. Every one is giving each and everyone a strange look, like what is happening to you. In no time we realize that the ghosts have either infected us or done some strange thing. I ran after one of them, towards a corridor, there is no light there, but suddenly a small hole appears and the ghost escapes. I could just see it go through that hole. The next day its morning and I woke up as usual. The same lush green campus, guys hanging around, classes going on. I checked the time and realized that its not morning but its evening and its feeling like as if its going to be day where as it started getting darker. Surprisingly everyone else was going about as if its going to be day after the morning. That’s when I realize that now I am in a parallel world. A world, which is running in the daytime where I came from, and a world, which runs in the night where everyone is infected and everyone else, has become a ghost. Surprisingly it wasn’t scary. Its no different than the usual world we came from.We are not harmful or do all those things which they show in movies. We are just like normal, well not human beings but beings who are in jeans t shirts. Only we are able to see and realize that there exits a parallel world, which can be realized only after you become one of us.
The next one is a small but beautiful one. There is this girl whom I know. We are great friends. She is getting married to a handsome nice guy and I am getting married to a pretty gal. Both the brides are smiling and are looking really beautiful in the bridal duppata and lehenga. We are sitting on a mandap and getting married. I just saw the gal whom I am getting married, but I could not recognize her, neither the guy whom my friend was getting married. It always happens, I only see strangers in my dreams, and this time I only knew my friend. I know it sounds crazy, but that's what dreams are made up of :)

PS: Interpretations r Welcome

The Beach

2006-06-27T07:02:00.000+05:30

It was some kind of a naval base near a sea beach. The sea was totaly blue and the sand white and clean. There were a few public visitors who had come there. It wasn't an indian beach. I was wearing a black millatary dress. I don't remember whom but I was just chatting with one friend. I suddenly drifted away from the public and went near this ship which was there on the beach a small one but with a chimney. I climbed up the chimney and was sitting there smoking a cigarette. I saw a submarine in the sea. Half of its body was outside water. Suddenly I saw two bubbles of smoke falling down very fast. They landed a lil away from the submarine. I was sure its somekind of a powerful bomb.I didn't fled.Instead I kept watching. When it exploded a lot of water splashed and came out. Immediately the water rised to a huge hight causing a really giant wave. It swept the submarine and started coming fast towards the beach. I stayed calm smoking my cigratteee. In no time it came to the beach and suddenly the water level rised to a big height.I was safe sitting over that chimney, but I could see water below my feet. I could see water rushing very fast. Again within a few minutes the water resided and I came down. I found the submarine lying on the beach and a few ppl comming out of it injured.

This Is How She Reminds Me

2006-05-12T14:22:00.000+05:30

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin'
Tired of livin' like a blind man
I'm sick inside without a sense of feelin
And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breakin'
I've been wrong, I've been down
To the bottom of every bottle
Despite words in my head
Scream "Are we having fun yet?"
Yet?, Yet?, Yet?, no no

It's not like you didn't know that
I said I love you and I swear I still do
It must have been so bad
Cause living with me must have damn near killed you

This is how you remind me

A Thought

2006-05-03T15:22:00.000+05:30

To hate all roses; because you got scratched by one thorn
To give up all your dreams; because one did not come true
To lose faith in prayers; because one was not answered

To give up on your efforts; because one of them failed
To condemn all your friends; because one of them betrayed
Not to believe in love; because someone was unfaithful

Remember that; another chance may come up
A new friend, A new love, A new life

Never give up on anything

Not an original piece,found it in a picture

What gals want?

2006-04-25T23:33:00.000+05:30

Gals are a different species. You will find thousand guys who are almost similar, but its difficult to find out two gals who are almost similar. Atleast that's what I feel. Now you must be thinking why am I writing this. Well what else we guys talk about ;-) so why not a post on them. If someone starts writing a thesis on gals then probably it will never end. I will try to squeeze as much as possible in this one. 20 something years and still I have not understood gals properly, but who else has. I studied in a co ed skool, studied in a co ed college. Made great friends in skool, not that close friends in college. And after that the shock came, I landed up in IIT and that too in Chennai where you will hardly see gals or should I say interaction with the opposite sex. But still I am in touch with my skool friends who were also there in college also.The cellphone and internet has made it a lot easier now. Otherwise it used to be the hols. And out of these those who are of the opposite sex, and the others gals with whom I have interacted, be it in whatever lengths, I found each one is unique. I must say this is somekind of biological innovation which has been continuing since the formation of life in the smallest form. Even within skool friends there are those who are not so close and there are who are close, and there are a few with whom you don't have to think twice before talking. Then here in IIT the internet happened and came to know a different bunch of gals who are again different and unique.I had never checked a mail or operated a computer before coming here. But with time I learnt that there is a world beyond my 17' inch monitor screen. So the yahoo messenger happened and I started sailing a lil bit. I had heard about how you meet(or never meet) a whole lot of new people through internet, and how people connect. Within no time I found out that this will not work out for me. Getting into endless chat rooms and hitting the keyboard to the extent that you will get calpel syndrome was something which I could not do.I am still confused about how people do sex chat online and what exactly they do ??? 90 % of them, I am sure are guys with a gals ids. That's altogether is a different issue, what guys want. Lets not get into that. But tell you guys, I know guys who are totally senti about this. I know a guy who has a girlfriend in Philippines and when the gals father asked for proof, this guy sent 5k to that gal. He is saving enough so that he can go to Philippines. You see love doesn't know any boundaries. Ok there was this hindi movie also where the hero and heroine fall in love online. I am sure you will come across many guys like these who don't fall in love exactly but they love to do it online. I used internet mainly for e mails and surfing until one of my friends introduced me to orkut. By that time most of the guys were quite familiar with this new world. I joined found a bunch of again new people and first time thought that they actually are real people and since it was nicely sorted out with each having one profile a set of parameters and in some cases even original photographs, I thought its a good place to interact with new people. So orkuting started. I had heard a lot of stories how a guy in US can hook up with a chinky through this virtual world.I didn't have any such aspirations, but thought lets see how people react or interact here. So started orkuting. It gave an opportunity to interact with real people who are like minded. But tell you even if you find like minded gals here to interact with, eventually you will know that all are unique and are different. Here atleast I knew the identity of the people , where they are from, what do they like and many more things. Hitting on gals was so easy here. You don't know her, she doesn't know you. Simple. Well not exactly. I thought may be I will end up making a few gfs here.You just have to start scraping her,be active in a few communities which are common and once you get her messenger id start using the free internet to its fullest form and try to patao her in whatever way possible. If she is in Chennai or somewhere close, that's great, otherwise we will see. Who is gonna marry her anyway. Its all for time pass. Ya ya I can see that grin on your face, but that's what many guys try to do with their P4s never sleeping within their chardiwari. Well wrote a lot about the online stuff , but you see that's where the interaction happens and you meet new gals. Atleast I thought so for a while. Very soon I came out of this notion. Why the hell will some gal end up with me who is staying a thousand kilometers away, when she can end up with a guy who lives in the same city as she does. You see as I said, you will find thousand guys who are almost similar. So its not that difficult to find out a guy similar or even better then me to find out.I knew this is not going to work out. The whole finding out a gf onlne stuff ceased there. But eventually I met a few good souls who are genuine and with whom the interaction increased and we became great friends, online. I have met a few of them and believe me they are just like they are online. Ok gals I am still confused ;-) So how different are they from the friends I have from my childhood or from my skool days. Not much , but you see each of them is unique and different. So a few are much more closer then some of my skool friends. Now with each one you form a different equation. So let me list down adjectives and other variations which I can be associated with or what I am. But these are not specific and only ones, neither they actually represent me fully. So sometimes I am this guy within whom she confides everything, while sometimes she thinks I am wired. Sometimes she thinks I understand her properly and no one else, and yet sometimes she says that I never understand her. She is this friend whom I know for such a long time that we talk anything, and yet sometimes she is this friend with whom you just keep thinking how will she react and whether it is appropriate or not.Will she mind or will she just be herself bindas. Well don't confuse with the use of SHE somanytimes, all are different ;-) So ultimately it boils down to what kind of a person is she, and that's difficult with each being unique. Now you see why I am so confused about this species :~

She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me
She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth, but she'll never believe
And she'll take what you give her as long it's free
Yeah, She steals like a thief, but she's always a woman to me

Ohhh... she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants, she's ahead of her time
Ohhh... and she never gives out
And she never gives in, she just changes her mind
And she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding
But she?ll bring out the best and the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself 'cause she's always a woman to me

She's frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you,
But she's always a woman to me

The Basketball WaterTank

2006-04-21T00:12:00.000+05:30

Sitting on the top of a water tank, gazing at the stars, with cool breeze, time just flies by. You forget about everything else around you for a few moments. You are just there with yourself and nothing else. You start watching the flights landing, flights taking off, the distant hills, the N number of stars, sometimes a meteoroid piece burning to ashes and you make a wish, all the buildings with lights, you start enjoying things which even though you would have seen, look totally different at that height. You just stay with yourself for a few moments and you just wish time freezed.

An Accident To Remember

2006-04-18T13:03:00.000+05:30

It was somewhere near UP. Both of us were trying to catch a running train and ended up swinging ourselves from the side of the train. The train started to pick up speed. There was another train coming from the other direction on the next track. There was a pole also in between the two tracks which some how seem a little closer to our train. We were almost on the verge of dying.It was the last boggy of the train and somehow we managed to find the open door and got in just in time.She was scared like hell.She held me tightly and asked me to keep holding her. After sometime she relaxed and there was a strange kind of expression on her face.We started kissing each other and my grip became firmer and firmer. Just when we were going to make out we realized that the train has somehow slowed down. We checked and found out that the boggy somehow detached from the train.The single boggy took a turn from the usual track. Someone had changed the track and now the boggy was going on a track with a dead end. It collided and started to tumble.I could feel the jerks.Somehow while tumbling I came out and fell on the ground.I saw the boggy lying sidewise and she was lying there injured. I went there and found a few scratches on her face. She had become senseless.I carried her and took her to the near by place. Fortunately she wasn't injured much.I cleaned her face with cotton and now she was looking at me again in a strange fashion.

Hostel Night & Hostel Life

2006-04-15T17:02:00.000+05:30

When I write this post the juniors are preparing for the hostel night today. Junta have written the toast and roast. During the stay in IIT whatever funny,shady, crapy things you did, everything comes out today. Be it about the number of gfs you have or had, be it any secrets you told to your friends, today everyone knows about it. This is the day you will be exposed to the gal with whom you have been chatting for a few days and have been thinking of getting laid with her, where as it might turn out to be your room neighbor who was chatting with you to make you a dumbass.The day you forgot to close the window and were jerking off and someone caught you, now everyone will know which porn were you watching at that time.Any damn funny incident whether in class , mess, workshop, movie theatre or anywhere,all these will come out and will remind you of all the happy days you spent here.The N number of job treats, the app treats, getting high on weed and booze, going for a fag to the tarams gate,playing for the hostel everything comes to your mind.Here you make friends who are going to be there for lifetime and whom you will never forget.This is the day when even the non smoking non boozing shy guy will take a sip of booze to enjoy it.There are a few who get so much emotional that they start crying, just thinking about leaving the hostel and insti after a few days makes them sob. You are high in a different way today.You are a lot happy for yourself, for your friends and partly you are sad because you will have to leave them.Feeling of nostalgia gets to the highest of peaks.Strangly I am not feeling any of these for reasons beyond any explanations. For me it will be just another day.There are many who say that they can't forget the insti and they wish they were still here.I know how it feels when you go out of such a great institution where you get friends who are like your family.I don't know why I don't feel like that. May be circumstances have made me like that.Neway whatever it is, I just had sometime to write this while I watch all the preparation going on. I am getting late for my evening jog. May be one more on what happened in the hostel night tomorrow.

A Road Less traveled

2006-04-15T10:57:00.000+05:30

The young today are swept away by a new wave. Call it the Rang De Basanti syndrome or the Yuva effect, today there are people who have never been there but doing it. And mostly its people who are highly educated, who are leaving lucrative jobs and taking the road less traveled. To explore, discover and live a life which they dreamt of. And just because they venture into something new doesn't mean that money takes a backseat and they give up on it. But it no longer remains the only thing they work for.They earn enough for doing what they love to do and cherish their achievements. Life for them becomes more fulfilling even in the struggle for existence. When a bunch of IITians formed a Political Party it made news. Would it have made so much news if just a few bunch of youngsters would have formed a party and decided to contest? I don't think so. Its the IIT tag, the cushy jobs they left, their ideology, their vision and above all their spirit to do something which has made them unique. You will hardly find an IITian joining the politics or who will be interested to start a career in this field. There are examples like Jayaram Ramesh and Manohar Parrikar who are IITians and are in politics. But you don't see much of these technologically educated people to make a career move in politics. A place which is synonymous with corruption,non transparency and as everyone calls it politics. These people are not joining it for the hunger of power, position or the favors involved. They are joining to bring in a change, a viable one.When I was reading an interview I came to know about their approach. There are many who simply don't vote because they think it doesn't matter and standing in the queue for such a long time just for voting is a waste of time. They are trying to make these kind of people understand the importance of voting, the importance of democracy. People who are capable, who have the knowledge, who have the expertise generally shy away from taking such a responsibility. They just complain of the bad infrastructure, the bad roads, electricity problems, water problems. Everything is blamed on the political parties. No doubt they are the ones who should take care of these things. But its WE who vote them, bring them to power. There are thousands of young people moving from cities for professional reasons. But how many of them are actually able to vote when it is required? Why any kind of political initiative is seen as a gimmick, a short term goal of getting the votes? Why people are not able to see the larger picture? These are questions which come to every thinking mind, but somewhere they get buried. Now atleast there are people who have taken it on themselves and trying to find out ways. I hope Lok Paritran wins and brings out a change.

My Home Page

2006-04-13T10:57:00.000+05:30

Black White & Various Shades Of Dusk

2006-04-12T11:14:00.000+05:30

Just a few days back I was reading a post by Banner and his TAG about describing the kind of gal he would like to marry.It was a sincere attempt I would say. There was this point he made that she should be fairer then him and black haired. Staying in Chennai I don't see much of the fair skinned gals and there was this community in orkut where people were discussing or rather fighting over this issue of skin color.Most of the people from south were of the opinion that beauty is not skin dependent and they had a strange kind of disliking for people who are either fair or who like the fair color and stated their liking.Generally speaking the south Indians have darker skin color and the so called north Indians or what I say the rest of Indians don't have dark skin.And if you are the kind of person who thinks that people who like the fair color are racists and don't know anything about beauty and all those stuff, then probably you might feel like giving me N number of examples of ppl from south who are fair and ppl from north who are dark and how beautiful ppl from south are and stuff.Go ahead it doesn't matter to me.Why people comment as if its a big crime if someone likes a fair colored gal? Look around everywhere and you will find ads where you will see mostly fair colored beautiful gals promoting products which promise to make your skin fair.With Fair & Lovely now we have a Fair & Handsome also.I don't know how many guys even buy that.But unless there is a demand these products would have vanished. The sale of so many beauty products which promise to give a fair color is proof enough that everyone wants to be a bit fairer.And when you say it in particular you are called a racist.What crap?Even in southindian movies you will find that the actresses are fair colored, and people are crazy about these movies in south. Isn't it proof enough that within their subconscious even they want to see the fair color.So why call the people who like the fair color a racist? He/she is not saying that dark is ugly or bad or anything like that. Its all how the society perceives and how people are projected by the media.Call me also a racist or whatever, but I think its a personal choice and as long as he/she is not imposing it on you or anyone, you don't have the right to dictate what he should like and should not like.I find dusky gals very beautiful, so does it mean that I don't like fair colored gals? That's the kind of conclusion you might make, but not me. I like the fair colored gals also, but not the overly fair colored ones.That's my choice, my personal liking.Now if you are making another conclusion, you are free to do so. As I said it doesn't matter to me.

Btw , we Indians are not fair, we are wheatish ;-) & NOM

A Mouth Full Of Smoke

2006-04-12T11:00:00.000+05:30

I think 90 % of the people who don't smoke and say smoking is bad, actually don't know how bad smoking is. And 90 % of the people who smoke know exactly how bad smoking is. So what is it with smoking that makes me write this post? Actually along with me now I find many of my friends who are quitting or sincerely trying to quit it. Its good. It saves money, saves your health and most important they are quitting it before getting addicted. I know a friend here who doesn't smoke, infact he can't stand near people who smoke, has broken cigs one by one and thrown them out. There is one more guy, who is a regular at the gym, is a health freak and never smokes. These two guys are placed in ITC. They are going to get brainwashed.

I Am Feeling Lucky

2006-04-10T23:26:00.000+05:30

I found it after someone forwarded to do this stuff. Open Google and type failure and then click "I am feeling lucky". So the best way to search for me is open Google type "write2brijesh"(that's my messenger id and my e mail id) and click I am feeling lucky, it will take you to my home page. Or else just type "brijesh pandey" and click I am feeling lucky and it will take you to my blogger page. And if you do a normal google search with "Brijesh Pandey" , the first link you get is my blogger page.Its easy to google me out in this virtual world. Again I am feeling lucky ;-)

I Am None Of These. So What Am I?

2006-04-09T10:31:00.000+05:30

................Cancer
............Leo..............Virgo
...........Lbra ..................Scorpio
................................Capricon
..........................Sagittarius
...................Aquarius
.................Pisces
................Aries
..............Taurus

..............Gemini

The Little Important Changes In Life

2006-04-06T09:17:00.000+05:30

Hmmm For the N number of people who are totally religious about sports and who are studs, this might look like just a simple thing, but for me it means a lot. The very fact that I am blogging it is proof enough of how I feel. From the last one week I have been going for jogging and swimming in the morning and evening every day. And the best thing is probably that was the only way to stay away from smoking. Yes, finally I have started to avoid it and stay away from it. Surprisingly its easy to do so. And it feels really great to wake up early, go for a jog, do all the stretchings and sweat it out. When you see the sun coming up with a cool breeze, you realize that its worth doing it.Similarly in the evening also after all the jogging and stretchings when I enter the pool and do 20 laps continuously it feels different. In the whole process I never run against time, I just have to outrun myself.Now I understand why people talk about doing all these stuff and how important are they as you keep growing up. When the professional life starts its difficult finding time for all these. Fortunately I won't miss the swimming pool and the facilities of IITM. I hope I just continue with my workouts.

The Quarter Life Crisis 20 Something & Counting

2006-04-05T10:56:00.000+05:30

I don't know how this term came into existence, the only similar thing I had heard about was mid life crisis(MLC). But now that I am myself facing this, I can understand that actually there exists a Quarter Life Crisis(QLC). So what exactly is the crisis? To be precise, that's exactly the whole thing is all about. One word that can best describe it is Confusion.I will not try to explain what Quarter Life Crisis is, but would rather try to put down my confusions in a rather non confusing way.

We have these four stages of life described in the Veda. Bramhacharya,Grahasta,Vanaprashta and Sanyasa. But at those times the roles and the responsibilities were well documented and there were no MLC or QLC. Being a 20 something would never have been so confusing.What exactly is this confusion? That's itself is confusing , but let's not get into that.I will try to list down things which we connect to when we are 20 something.

I think the most important and most talked about crisis is Job or Career. We finish our studies and hope for the best possible job., which somehow no one seems to get. I don't find many souls who are happy with their jobs. There are two things that come to mind when we take up a discussion on this. The most important and deciding factor being the pay and the next thing is leaving the job for an MBA after a good work experience.Being a 6 point someone I am excluding all the 9 pointers types who app to univs for higher studies. So what exactly is the problem????I myself don't know. I have not yet joined and would like to find out. But there are experiences, close ones actually. So what is a good job?? A good salary, good office, good brand name of the company you work for, good facilities etc etc . Did we leave job satisfaction? Yes, so what about that. When the campus placements are going on, everyone is just in the process of grabbing a job. It doesn't matter whether you are in Mechanical, Chemical, Aerospace,Metallurgy, Naval Architecture or any such branches. I have not included the Computer Science and Electrical branches. Not all but most of them have a different route. Most of the CS guys apply for app. And many get jobs which essentially has something to do with whatever they have studied. Ppl in EE also get good salary jobs and there are many who app, and there are also ppl who take up a job like any other guy. Now coming to the companies that hire them. Most of them come from the Software Industry. That's good. They pay a lot, and there are not many core companies who pay that much and recruit so many students. So the major chunk goes to these companies with varying salaries depending on the company, branch and work profile. The next are the big ones where branch doesn't matter. Mostly in sales and marketing types jobs. They don't recruit in large numbers, but pay a lot. Next are the consultancy services ones which is a mix of Management and IT. They also have decent salary figures. Next are the core companies who also don't recruit in large numbers but have decent salary figures. Now a days a few companies are coming which are new.Like trading or investment banking. So ultimately you fit in any of these categories of jobs, right. Well not exactly. There are a few who venture into totally different fields like music, movies, theatre. But those kind of brave souls who don't risk their life getting into some job which they never thought they will be doing are very rare. But I have seen a few of them. Mostly a person like me will end up with a s/w job, which I have got.So after an engineering degree in whatever branch you did it, you go to the next stage where the QLC starts. I will write what I have seen and felt.

Let's take a few fields.Let's take a s/w engg. I have quite a few friends who are s/w engineers. So what is it about s/w engineering that makes it such a great choice initially and later makes it feel so boring , stagnating which leads to the crisis. The work becomes monotonous, the timings are hectic, sometimes even Saturdays are spent in office,long working hours. And all these for that salary that you always dreamt about. So what are you losing out on? Rest, enough sleep, social life and the rosy picture you thought. A strange kind of confusion starts building up. Is this what I wanted to do in life? Why am I still doing this if I don't want to do this? Is this the compromise I have to make to make the money? What about sustaining the kind of lifestyle I am in? Phone bills,weekend parties,branded products or lifestyle products, living in a good house in the heart of a big city, spending on luxury stuff. And what will it cost to escape from all these? A job change, going for a MBA. But does it guarantee what exactly you want?I wish there were an appropriate answer. How about writing a book? Will I be able to do it? Do I have the talent to write a book? Will I be able to publish it? What if it fails? And what about my daily needs? Where will the money come from? While it sounds all so good to think so, its not so easy and everyone knows it. So just continue with the job and keep searching for another one which you think is what you are looking for.Let me give a few examples. I have a friend in hyderabad in TCS. Like most, she also thinks of it as boring, monotonous. Apart from these the daily grind takes whatever energy she has left. A few other are in Bangalore. Most are preparing for CAT or searching for a new job. A few are in chennai. Their view, Life just sucks. So what exactly are all these people looking for? They wanted a good job, a good salary and they got it. Why are they complaining now? Aparantley that's not what one always wants. The lack of time for other activities, absence of like minded friends, even the other everyday non work related stuff like traveling, food etc make them to think.Chilling out at the bar over a couple of drinks or beer seems to be the only social activity for which they get time. Otherwise its well spent in catching up with whatever sleep loss that happened during the week. But not all think like this, there are ppl who stick to their job and move ahead with life.

Let me give one more example. This guy was in Aerospace Engineering. He got a job in HLL in sales. The salary was good.The company was good. The perks were good. After working for a few months he quit. The reason?, too much of traveling, stress and basically doing excel work and pushing people which was something he never wanted to do. He doesn't regret quitting the job. Infact he has taken up a new job now which pays less, but he is happy.

I know a friend who did his B.Tech in Chemical Engg, but due to his CGPA could not get a job in the placement. So he joined a product based s/w company. After a few months he was fired for browsing stuff which were against the company policy. Now this guy took the job just because he could not find a good job which he wanted. He wanted to work on CFD. But no company took him because of his low CGPA. He is great at maths, really has interest in CFD but doesn't seem to have the luck. Now he had no option but to get a job from the placement cell as a trader in a startup.
Another guy left Infy because he didn't want to do coding. He could have got a fat salary job in Gulf but he choose to take a consultancy job in chennai instead. He says, if he stays in gulf he will make lots of money, but where will he spend it. There is no social life and hardly any friends.

Now with job you need to move to new places and with that comes a lot of other stuff which you need to take care of.You need a few more guys and a house to share. Once you move to a new place, you might be away from your gf. I know friends who spend hours talking over the phone with their gfs. Then there is the problem of not meeting each other for a long time. And if you don't find like minded people then you can't have fun also. These though are not a part of career or job as such, but no doubt they affect a lot.After sometime you get used to it.

So what is the solution? I don't know.I have hardly been there in. But one thing upon which everyone will agree is balance. Its difficult. But that's what makes all the difference. After watching RDB one of my friends, a s/w engg, said he doesn't feel like coding anymore, rather he should have joined a defense job. If that's the case then can he just quit and join the defense. Its not that easy. Why didn't he join in the first place itself? Like everyone else he was and is as confused as everyone else. What is it about MBA that seems to be the next step after a few years? Is it another escape route which you could not make it immediately after graduation? Or do you really know if that's what you are really interested in. Every year a few of the MBAs from the best institute don't take a high paying job and instead venture into fields which have nothing to do with what they are taught in MBA. Do they also face a QLC. Yes some of them do face it. Hardly anyone can escape it. Its a phenomenon. It happens to everyone. And that's why some of these MBAs feel its a waste of talent and time when they are busy pushing the sales chart of a soap, a FMCG product or even some liquor or cigarette which they never drink or smoke.

What is it with BPOs and CallCentres? I don't know. Ok, atleast call centers are the ones who take care of customer care and BPOs are essentially outsourced work for other ppl. The picture that emerges is night shifts, hectic work hours and too much stress along with a good pay.I know a friend who has a MBA from a reputed institute, is a Project Manager, who has to work in night shifts and its taking a toll on her. She is going to quit the job. And she is not in her early 20s who is facing this crisis.

I don't know why, but we don't hear much about doctors having hectic working hours, lawyers complaining of stress, govt employees complaining of boring mundane work etc etc . But when it comes to Engg and MBA and the jobs after that we hear a lot about these.

There was a time when, if you are around 20 something then parents used to start pushing you for marriage. Now a days that doesn't happen. Even for gals marriage takes a back seat and having a good career is what they aspire to. Having a few girlfriends or boyfriends for sometime, breaking up and moving on to new ones is not so uncommon. But even then there are ppl who stay committed. Its just that they give more priority to career then the commitment.

I am as confused as anyone else my age will be. I have two jobs. One in the prestigious Indian Navy and the other as a s/w engineer in a Product Development Company. Being a 6 pointer has never felt so bad. I screw up my academics due to many reasons and ended up being a 6 pointer. But if that goes below 6 I will lose the Navy Job. A job which has the challenge, a great lifestyle, so many facilities, and most important a core job, but minus the salary. On the other hand I have a job which is not like the usual run of the mill s/w job which are mostly service oriented, but is about designing and developing a product which has a niche market. Its a small company with huge potential.The pay is good. The work seems good. Atleast I won't be forwarding mails I guess. I don't know what's there for me in future. I am as confused as anyone else who comes to this juncture in life.I hope I will be able to fulfill some of my dreams.

My Desktop with new Gaim2

2006-03-29T00:21:00.004+05:30

Zen in the Art of Archery

2006-03-27T21:59:00.000+05:30

I hardly know about Zen and I hardly read books. I picked up Zen In The Art Of Archery when one of my friends suggested it. First of all I tried to read it simply because it was thin. I can't read all those thick novels. After I finished this book I thought may be I have understood a little bit of what Zen is. Its something beyond the spirituality involved in any of these practices and I think all other forms of dhyan also mean the same. The book is not just about Archery but about being yourself, knowing yourself and discovering the other side of you.

The Matrix

2006-03-22T23:57:00.000+05:30

Wao Cool movie. But this is not about the movie. Its about the Matrix like thing I am feeling. My vague dreams, which somehow are so close yet so unreal. I see people and not monsters or spacecrafts. I see real people. I see things which might be existing in this world. People say that dreams are related to people and stuff around us with whom we interact , and there are many more with whom our brain interacts subconsciously. But how does it reappear in the dreams as unknown faces, unknown places, unknown themes and mostly with a single important sense of being there knowing that its a dream yet feel it.

I am feeling sleepy now, lets dream Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

I lost my P4 machine

2006-03-09T11:09:00.000+05:30

I had a P4 , 1.7 Ghz , Intel 845GBV system. Sometime back there was no signal going to the monitor and I gave it for repair to Sanghvi Computers. What he said is the MotherBoard has cupped and needs replacement, but to support my system he can't put an Intel motherboard because it won't be compataible. I said Ok, do it I will come and collect it. When I went to the shop he had replaced the motherboard, don't know what company it is and I didn't care also. He said there is some problem with the SMPS and needs change, I said ok do it. I put a new 256MB DDR Ram and was happy that now my system will work. FUCK THY SHOPKEEPERS. Now this is what sucks bigtime with these marwari comp shop owners try to act smart. This guy had removed my LAN card, and when I asked for it said it was not there. I said check it must be there, and obviously it was there and he found out, next was my CPU cover, he said you must not have brought it to the shop, wtf, checked again and found it, the thermacoal pieces were not there inside, I said you have to give, he found out them also. I was so pissed up with this guy that I almost had a fight with him. Ok after getting everything I brought the CPU back and found that he had put a Intel Celron (R) on my comp. When I called him back he said it must have been a Celron that you bought. What crap, these guys simply won't agree that they have done a mistake and instead question. Now when I told him that it was a P4 he said ok I have a spare P4 which has cupped and since he doesn't keep spare in his shop that must be mine. WTF he didn't say anything about this when I asked what needs to be repaired. I believed that my MotherBoard and SMPS cupped and I had to do that because, I had bought the system from him and I didn't have any other option. Now this guy says, take an AMD motherboard and processor which will come for 5.6k. Why the fuck should I take it now paying more, when I had a running P4 machine and he didn't mention it anytime. How will I believe that all my motherboard processor and SMPS cupped at the same time. This sucks bigtime. And after all this happened this guy doesn't just agrees that there was a mistake, but he is not ready to do anything. So why should I suffer because of his mistake. If he doesn't give me a good deal in anything now, there is one thing for sure, I will put up notices in all 12 hostels saying that what these guys do and not to buy anystuff from his, he is not reliable. It will cost me just 10 bucks. And atleast he will lose 10k minimum for that. Now he will realize how a single unsatisfied customer can divert his customers away from him. This is in the pipeline if he doesn't offer me a good deal. Lets see, but one thing is for sure, in anyway he is going to loose many customers just because of me.

Life After Death

2006-03-04T14:48:00.000+05:30

Life After Death

Main Zinda Hoon

2006-03-01T11:01:00.000+05:30

Najane kab se umeedein kuch baki hain
Mujhe phir bhi teri yaad kyun aati hai
Najane kab se........

Door jitna bhi tum mujse pass tere main
Ab to aadat si hai mujko aaise jeene main
Zindagi se koi shikwa bhi nahi hai
Ab to zinda hoon main iss neele aasman main

Chahat aaise hai ye teri badhti jaye
Aahat aaise hai ye teri mujko sataye
Yaadein ghehri hain itni dil doob jaye
Aur aankhon main ye gum nam ban jaye

Ab to aadat si hai mujko aaise zeene main
Sabhi yadein hain sabhi batein hain
Bhula do unhen, mita do unhen..........

Ab to aadat si hai mujko

Who is She?

2006-02-25T14:53:00.000+05:30

I still remember every bit of it. It still feels so fresh so natural and so real. She was like morning dew, with just a little sparkle in her eyes. We were so close. I could feel her deep breath, fast heartbeat. And when I kissed her it was amazing. I actually felt her lips, so soft. It wasn't one of those vague dreams, I know because I was part awake and woke up and went to this world of ecstasy again and I could feel her again. I could feel the touch of her soft hands, her face, so innocent, her smile, so cute. I felt every bit of it. I don't know what was happening. I don't want to know what was happening. May be someday I will find her.

It Sucks Here

2006-02-25T06:25:00.000+05:30

It Sucks & sucks bigtime. Its the system and as usual the general response will be that no system is flawless. But when you don't find a logical answer it sucks. Just now I heard that The Dean Students has banned the pizza delivery at the rooms. Earlier there was a rule that the pizza guy will wait at the hostel entrance and won't be allowed to go to the room for delivery. Now he can't enter the IIT campus. When I asked the gen sec the reason, he could not give any specific logical reason. Whatever he said is something like this. The pizza guys drive fast inside the campus and are a threat to human beings and the deers that stay inside the campus. Just two days back a frog was found in one of the mess in veg biryani. I don't know what action has been taken against this but I am not able to find any logic behind stopping the pizza guy to deliver at the rooms. According to the gen sec, the institute provides good food at hostel and why should we order a pizza from outside, and if we want we can go out and eat. Now if the hostel food is so good then why is a Dhaba there inside the insti in the hostel zone which definitely is hazar unhygenic then the pizza? Its not the first time that the system follows its own rule and the student community doesn't have a say in any of the decisions taken. They are just meant to be elected and have a right to remain silent. There are two gates near the hostel zone, one is Vels and the other Tarams. Both these gates used to be the lifeline of the students. A few months back a notice came that the Vels gate will be closed at 6 p.m which they stretched to 8 p.m.later. Reason? I have no idea. This gate had all the xerox shops stationary shops where students could take a xerox at 12 or 1 o'clock in the night when its required. There is a cycle shop which took care of all the cycle troubles. Oh ya students are not allowed to keep any powered vehicle. Every student signs an undertaking. Now that Vels is closed at 8 p.m junta go to Tarams for all their work. There is a fruit shop in the hostel zone which caters to all the students (12 hostels, each with capacities of around 250 to 350) and still sells relatively low quality stuff compared to outside fruit juice shops. There is a STD booth and a shop which sells everything under the sun. Students used to go to Vels or Tarams because the STD booth in the hostel zone used to be busy and there were long Qs. Fortunately the cellphones have made life a lil easier. When other IITs had internet connection in their hostels we at IITM didn't have this even if its an institute of Technology. It came just more then one year back. The reason it seems was that students will misuse the internet facility. What crap. Who has the time to do this so called misuse through out the day. And just because a few students will misuse it, keep the internet away from all the students. Crap, total crap. We used to have bus service from the hostel zone to the gate. Now they changed it into two stages. One from Hostel to GC which is just walkable and the next from GC to the main gate. And the frequency, it sucks bigtime. If you have to go to main gate you catch a bus from hostel zone to GC which will take N time because you first wait for the bus at the hostel zone. At GC you again wait for N time to get a bus to the main gate.And the frequency is so pathetic that students actually don't prefer going to the main gate and going outside somewhere. They just go to the Tarams gate and catch an auto from there. The reason behind this two stage bus service?? Again no idea. Btw it costs just one rupee from hostel to GC and one rupee from GC to gate. And from Tarams it will cost atleast 30 to 40 to go to anyplace. Students prefer giving 30 bucks compared to this two bucks. Why can't they make the ticket just 2 bucks and run it from hostel to gate? No they won't do it, they have a mind and logic of their own. Crap. When you register your computer with the hostel they are supposed to give a LAN wire. Now when I registered he didn't give me one, when I was taking my comp out for repair he was asking me to give the LAN wire back until I get my comp repaired. What crap? Why do they need the LAN wire in the mean time? Again no logic. A library gets closed just because one or two books were stolen or the timing is restricted. Forget about females even male visitiors have time restriction on visiting the students in the boys hostel. I can go on and on like this stating the N number of illogical stuff which goes on here. But the only thing I can do is write it down like this. I am helpless. The student community is helpless. The freedom is non existing. The secs just go to the meeting, listen to whatever crap is being told there and come back. They just get officially elected. That's all. Its totally up to the higher authorities to do whatever they want to do. You raise a voice and you endanger your life, your career. No one will do that. That's how the system is. These young bright minds whom the institute trains and imparts the so called knowledge to be responsible citizens, vanishes somewhere within the system. It sucks and sucks bigtime. So the only way is to beat the system within the system. Yes I don't think we are doing anything wrong each time we beat the system. Is this the kind of attitude only in this IIT or all? I don't know. But whatever I know from friends I think here its just too much. Anything is possible here where there exits an engineering college where boys and gals are fined even for committing the crime of talking with each other, yes that's true, there exits a college like this here. They just take away even the fundamental rights. And worst is the kind of parents who send their sons and daughters to such an educational institute thinking that it maintains a high degree of moral conduct. All crap. It sucks and there is only one way, beat the system.

My Presence on Multiply

2006-02-13T18:01:00.000+05:30

I am available on Multiply also. Here is what you need to look for in the future.

http://xdivide.multiply.com/

Rang De Basanti

2006-02-12T11:47:00.000+05:30

I had heard a lot about this movie. There were people who were saying that its really inspiring.
And there were a few who said that they don't understand why the movie is talked about so much. Yesterday I was talking to Bulbul and she said she is really moved by the movie. I didn't understand what did she mean. Is it the concept, the story, or the movie making skills which she is talking about?It was weekend and we went for some beer though a bit early. After having enough beer and the high, we went to watch the movie. Last night it was screened in our insti Open Air Theatre (OAT) as a promotional movie. Junta had said to watch it in a theatre to feel it.Finally I was watching Rang De Basanti in a theatre without paying for it. The movie had started,went through the interval and finished. I for a change didn't find it inspiring, as I felt while watching Lakshya or Swades. Towards the end of the movie my mind had moved out of the movie and I was actually thinking. Yes when you are high you think, but this was different. OAT was full of talented young minds and the professors also. When Soha Ali Khan says, "mar dalo usse" junta roared in enthusiasm, when ever Karan spoke a few lines on radio junta roared. I sat there quietly, watching the whole drama. I never felt the rush of blood. In Swades Mohan Bhargava didn't come back to save India, or to change the political system or to eradicate poverty from rural India. He had a vision and he came back to fulfill that. A small but significant one. In Lakshya Karan is like any other youngster who is confused until he realizes what he needs to do. In Rang De Basanti I could not understand if it is anywhere close to reality. Ofcourse there are emotions attached and if something like that happens any one will get agitated. I have myself gone through something similar. It was not a politician but a doctor. In class 10th one of my close friend had fever and the doctor said its just a case of malaria where as it was typhoid. He died due to the negligence. I could not understand what can be done about the doctor. We were helpless. I don't know what his family was going through,but there must be somekind of anger which got subjugated due to the pain and emotional distress. Everyone talks of changing the political system, to bring a new revolution, to change the corrupt system. And there are a few who actually work towards this. But how many of us actually bring out a small change within ourselves. When a group of young IITians form a political party it becomes news. People think that now here are a bunch of talented youngsters who left high paying jobs and are really doing something. But it just disappears from people's mind after a few days. No doubt, cinematicaly speaking the movie is great, the concept is amazing and the screenplay is superb. But apart from just bringing a few hours of temporary inspiration for these young minds it does nothing. At the end of the movie students were interacting with the director Rakeysh Mehra, the producer, Madhavan and Siddharth(Karan) who had come there to interact with these talented youngsters and their reaction towards the movie. I didn't have any questions to ask them or had the slightest enthu to interact with them. I just shrugged in the crowd and came out of OAT confused, I was no more high.

Whatzup

2006-02-08T14:18:00.000+05:30

"What's Up"?
"How is life?
"What's going on?"
"Life main kya chal raha hai??"
"Aur kaisa hai"

I really get confused when I hear such questions. I don't know what to say. They might be really easy for ppl to answer, but for me they are really complicated questions. Questions for which I don't have answers. Is that some of you also feel?? May be..

My Movie Character List

2006-02-06T09:11:00.000+05:30

Movie Characters I like

1) Simply Amitabh Bachchan
2) SRK in Swadesh
3) Saif in Dil Chahta Hai & Kal Ho Naa Ho
4) Amol Palekar in Gol Maal
5) Rahul Bose in Mr & Mrs Iyer
6) Abhishake Bachchan in Shararat and Refugee
7) Aamir Khan in Dil Chahta Hai, Sarfarosh, Ghulam, Akele Hum Akele Tum
8) Rajpal Yadav in Main Meri Patni Aur Woo, Hungama, Main Madhuri Dixit Banna Chahti Hoon

1) Konkana Sen in Mr & Mrs Iyer
2) Kajol in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai,Ishq,DDLJ
3) Preity Zinta in Kal Ho Naa Ho,Lakshya, Dil Chahta Hai,Sangharsh, Salam Namaste
4) Chitrangada Sen in Hazaron Khwaishen Aaise
5) Nandita Das in Fire, Bawandar
6) Rani Mukharjee in Hum Tum, Chalte Chalte,Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Black,Veer Zaara
7) Dimple in Dil Chahta Hai,Krantiveer,Leela
8) Depti Naval in Freaky Chakra

1) Morgan Freeman and Tim Robins in The Shawshank Redemption
2) Tom Hanks in Cast Away, You Have Got Mail, Saving Private Ryan, Sleepless In Seatle, Forrest Gump
3) Russel Crowe in Gladiator
4) LeonardoDi Caprio in The Basketball Diaries, Titanic
5) RobertDe Nairo in Taxi Driver, Meet The Fockers, Goodfellas
6) Mel Gibson in Braveheart, The Patriot, Signs
7) Johny Depp in Sleepy Hollow, Finding Neverland, Pirates of the Carribean,Blow
8) George Clooney in The Perfect Storm, Ocean's Eleven
9) Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai, Mission Impossible, Collateral, The Firm, A Few Good Man
10 Kevin Spacy in American Beauty, The Usual Suspects, Se7en, The Life of David Gale
11 Billy Hays in Midnight Express

1) Salma Hayek in Fools Rush In, After The Sunset, Once Upon A Time In Mexico, Desperado, From Dusk Till Dawn
2) Jodie Foster in Panic Room and Flight Plan
3) Angelina Jolie in Mr & Mrs Smith, Tomb Raider
4) Penelop Cruz in Sahara, Gothika
5) Kate Winslet in Titanic, Finding Neverland
6) Meg Ryan in You Have Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle, Proof of Life,

An Exhaustive List of Things

2006-02-05T19:05:00.000+05:30

These are not in the order of preference , they are just arbitly numbered.I will keep updating it.

Nicks
1)Guddu
2)Brij and the other variations of the same
3)CG in insti

Things of opp. sex tht attracts me:
1) Phigure & face specially dusky ones
2) Sense of humor
3) Attitude
4) Straight Forward and Easy Going Nature
5) Practicality

Celebrity crush:
1) Salma Hayek
2) Salma Hayek
3) Salma Hayek.... N times

Phrases I use a lot
1) Abe
2) Chutiya and other variations
3) Tharak and other variations of the same like tharki,tharkan
4) Walk pe chale kya[:o] that actually means going for a fag
5) sutta hai kya
6) Paise Nahi Hain yaar
7) Mad**c**d&Be***c**d and other variations
8) Arbit
9) Kya Kare

Things which I am proud of about myself
1) :o
2) :-/
3) :-?
4) :-??
5) :-s
6) :D
7) Innocence :)

Movies
1) Mr & Mrs Iyer
2) Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
3) Lakshya (The most inspiring hindi movie for me)
4) Dil Chahta Hai
5) Lets Talk
6) Golmal
7) Prahar/Krantiveer
8) Roja

1) The Shawshank Redemption
2) The Basketball Diaries
3) The Motercycle Diaries
4) American Beauty
5) The Usual Suspects
6) Finding Neverland
7) Titanic
8) Cast Away
9) Requim For A Dream
10)Million Dollar Baby
11 Midnight Express
12 Spring Summer Fall Winter & Spring

Things I can eat/drink anytime
1) Orange Juice
2) Mango Milkshake
3) Chewing Gum
4) Gajar ka Halwa
5) Fresh water prawn
6) Nimbu Pani

Actors I like
1) Amitabh Bachchan
2) Rahul Bose
3) Paresh Rawal
4) John Abraham
5) Aamir Khan
6) Saif
7) Amol Palekar
8) Abhishake Bachchan
9) Akshaya Kumar
10 Sanjay Dutt

1) Tom Cruise
2) RobertDe Nairo
3) AlPacino
4) Russel Crowe
5) Kevin Spacy
6) Mel Gibson
7) LeonardoDi Caprio
8) Morgan Freeman
9) George Cloney
10)Tom Hanks

Actress I like
1) Sushmita Sen
2) Konkana Sen
3) Nandita Das
4) Kajol
5) Rani Mukharjee (out of 5,,4 bengali gals and one half oriya, I lo these gals)
6) Dimple

1) Salma Hayek
2) Jenifer Aniston
3) Angelina Jolie
4) Meg Ryan
5) Courtney Cox

Weird things I have done
1) I fell down from the roof,which had no boundaries while flying a kite which was made of just
paper and tied with a thread, nothing else. And yes it flies with out those sticks.And i didn't
get a single scratch on my body.On one side there were bricks and on the other there were stones, I fell in the middle.

2) In the physics lab practical book @IIT I kept signing under the signature column till the end
when I came to know that it was supposed to be the prof's signature.He made enough fun of me :))

3) Put proxy for the only Sardar in my class of 27, ofcourse it got noticed but i didn't get caught

4) Attended Arts and Commerce classes while I was in college in 12th to watch gals there and once in a commerce class the prof asked me some question, which obviously I didn't know. and the prof says, "you guys just come here to do time pass and look at gals" ;-)

5) In 5th std in skool after lunch break there was no water in the drinking water tap, so we took
permission from the principal to go out to the near by Homeopathy college and drink water.We came back after skool was over.

6) Have driven a Yamaha RX135 at around 115 I lo that machine :)

7) Once I came to room totaly drunk,opened all the windows and door and crashed till morning 9 o'clock just in my jockeys & nothing else.Someone had closed the window and door in the morning

8) Went to a red light area in Goa when I was in first year just to see how things work out there

Things I want to do
1) Earn lots of money
2) Do lots of photography, specially Black & White and cinematography
3) Have my own Travel and RealEstate agency with my brother.I have started working on the travel part. Its the initial bluprint stage.
4) Take my dadi ma for a tirth yatra.
5) Gift a laptop and a bike for my sister.
6) Open an oldage home at my place.I don't know if I can do it, but will try.
7) Have a studio apartment of my own.
8) Fall in love

I wish I had
1) A Hayabusa
2) A BMW Convertible Mini, a Skoda Yeti & Roomer
3) Looks and Hair like Tom Cruise in MI2
4) A Bose Home Theatre System with a high resolution wide screen projecter
5)A swimming pool at the top of my house with palms on the sides and cold orange juice on the deck
6) Not joined IIT
7) Had a galfriend

It took quite some time.

Choice

2006-01-26T10:36:00.000+05:30

We don't come to this world by our own choice. After that its the parents and relatives who choose for us. The diaper,the food,the milk, the cloths everything. We just enjoy whatever is being provided. We don't have a choice at that time. As we grow a bit we start using the choices available and sometimes the unavailable ones also. Still parents choose most of the things and we hardly have any choice, but to choose from the things available. When life keeps moving ahead our choices increase,ie we get more and more options, but still are constrained. We don't choose the school, but we get a chance to choose the pencil,eraser or notebook, the tiffin box, the bag etc etc.When we are kids we choose our friends. No one imposes them on us. Its mututal. With whom we play , share the lunch box, copy homework, read comix etc etc. Basically its not like relatives whom we can't choose. If we don't like Smita aunty then we don't have a choice.She is anyway going to come home and talk about you to mom and how his son Rahul came first in class. I give a damm about it ;-). We don't choose our school uniform, but sometimes we choose our colths, colors and styles. But mom never allows you to buy a torn jeans and roam around. You do that when you are in college. When you finish school you do have a choice of your career. But sometimes parents choose what they think is good for you. Sometimes you choose. You see here also though you have lots of choices you are constrained by many factors. By this time you start evaluating choices. Earlier it was like you didn't care about the price,quality or any parameter whatsoever, as a kid you wanted it and that's it. But now you think. So these restraints are actually the guiding force behind each of your smart choices. They make you think and let you choose the appropriate one and not exactly the correct one. You might not enjoy the correct one. Sometimes it happens. You may be good in biology and you might like it,but that doesn't mean you will like being a doctor. You might like to go to a forest and study a certain species of insect whose existence would not affect the world in anyway, but later on you might put a paper on how important is that species of insect to the eco system.Everyone loves macho bikes and to have one.But not everyone owns a Harley Davidson. You do have choices while buying a bike, but you don't buy a Harley Davidson. A 180 cc DTS-i Pulsar with five spoke alloy wheels, front disc brake is what makes your adrenaline rush. The specs are enough to make the 100 cc bikes look like toys. But you see even the 100 cc bikes sell a lot, ppl buy it because that's what fits their choice. The Splendours, Passions make the TVS XL super and other 60 cc bikes look like toys. So its the constraints which make you chose the appropriate thing for you. The Harley Davidson still might be the correct one for you. Don't dream about it, you are never gonna own one. So you see there are so many choices and so many options. You are the one to choose. But you don't just go there pickup one and come back home. You do a cost benefit evaluation, the quality,the color, the product life, the price, compare prices of similar models in different brands and shops etc etc and manymore things. Ahh one thing we are forgetting, your wife ie your life partner. Just a second, why is it called lifepartner,you spend half of your life without your wife and after you get married you say her life partner, in a society where marriages can break anytime. Whatever it is, its called lifepartner and I am no one to question it. I do have a personal choice not to call it lifepartner ;-) Now this can be really frustrating sometimes. Your parents choose some gal from a good family and you have to accept the proposal. It might be the second biggest blunder in your life, the first one being agreeing for an arranged marriage when you didn't want it. It might turn your life not upside down, but tilted, in a position where you can neither live nor die. Oh why scare you guys. Marriage is not that bad. I don't have any personal experience but sometimes when you see happy couples you kind of believe in the institution of marriage. Wait a sec, why is it called an institution????? Oh forget it. So you see you had enough choices to choose your girlfriend in school, in college , in office, in the park you jog, the swimming pool, the tennis court, the bar etc etc. But you choosed someone so unique that you feel she is the onlyone who is appropriate for you. And still it happens that sometimes even if you have found that perfect one, you get married to an unknown person, just because you didn't have any choice. Sometimes it happens that someone else's choice turns out to be appropriate for you. Most of the happy couples who have gone the arranged marriage way and are happy will vouch for this. Sometimes you choose wrong stuff , but that makes your assumptions clear next time. So its not that bad.Now you see how we choose and how our choices are so individual.Why the hell then do you think companies flood the market with so many varieties of undies in different colors when no one is going to see it except for a few souls including you.I prefer I mean choose white ones ;-) now don't ask me why, I choose not to say.

The Village

2006-01-17T10:13:00.000+05:30

There was a time when I could not go to my village, just because of the hawa pani. I have some kind of an allergy with the environment of my village. Its not far from our quarter, just about 10 kms. And the environment doesn't change so drastically also. But its something which I have not been able to understand. Let me go back to my childhood.

We celebrate N festivals through out the year. Some of them I don't even know. But the one connected to the village is the arrival of new crop and the celebration. We still have our khet, but now we don't do it by ourselves. Someone takes it in contract and gives the money. Since kheti was the primary source of income in the earlier days and my ancestors basically lived on it this festival is really important. We call it Nua Khai in sambalpuri , the local dialect. That means "eating it for the first time". This is one festival when all the family members gather at our village and we offer the new rice as prashad. After the puja, my dadi ma distributes this new rice to each and everyone. We kids just play around in the open angan eating amrut or tender coconut. We have six coconut trees, two guava trees and two mango trees in our angan. Through out the year a heap of paddy will be there in the angan which is used to grow mushroom. Apart from the fruits we grow gajar, muli, gobi, mirchi, bhindi, tamatar, corn, baingan, dhaniya and a few more varities of hari sagsabzi which I don't know by name. And there are banana trees also. More on them later, because they are one of the most used trees in the household. Ours is like the typical gaon with angan, bagicha, kheti. The little changes in life have taken place and the comfort levels have increased. There is a TV, Cooler, cable connection and usual stuff. There was a time when we had cattle also. But there was no one to take care of them. Now they are residing at the padosi's angan. I have seen the kheti pretty close. My kaka will instruct the laborers to do whatever they have to do and I used to go to the khets to see the progress. The ride on tractors are the best in a gaon. We do kheti in the traditional way, ie to reap the crop, use some of them as seed and rest use. Now with technology came the hybrid variety. But no one had tried it in our place. My kaka gave it a shot. He followed the instructions and asked the laborers to plant them far apart. We never do that in the traditional system. Just after a few days of planting them, the rice saplings didn't seem to come back to life. My kaka didn't go to khet for one week. Later we were surprised by the speed of growth. The whole of our khet was visible from a far distance, because the plants were big and bushy. The yield was so much that, the laborers were finding it heavy to carry it back to our angan. Ppl started asking if they can get seeds from the new fasal. Unfortunately we can't do that with this hybrid variety,we have to buy seeds. In the night the paddy will be spread in a round fashion and a tractor will roll over it to extract the rice grains. The tractor will go round and round to do this. We used to sit on the tractor and enjoy it. Oh I am carried away by the khet, let me get back to the festival. So when its lunch time, we eat on banana leaves. It has a altogether different feeling. Ma will make puri, kher and N stuff to eat. There will be some traditional sweet which are distributed to the padosis. Though I have been to my village so often, but in my childhood I could not spend much time there. Once one lady came and saw me and asked my mom, "Is that someone from your colony whom you have brought to show the gaon & the festival". There is something about the hawa pani as my dadima says. My skin gets itchy and it becomes red. Even if I don't step out of the house it happens. One doc said gradually when I grow up this will go. Now that I have grown up,I don't get that. My dadima was the most confused on this. Why the hell this happens with our own village, it doesn't happen even in the nearby village. Now she is happy that I have grown up :) Oh ya my dadima, she is a really nice sweet dadima. When we go to the village, she will ask someone to get a few coconuts, or guava or tad or bhutta depending on the season. And in summers we have plenty of mangoes. I remember while going to the village there used to be these mutter ke khets. We just used to get in and eat tender mutter straight from the khet. There is a bridge on the way which dries during summer and ppl grow kakdi, with just a bit of salt it tastes great. Summers we used to sleep in the angan with the open sky and cool breeze. That was amazing. You don't even need a cooler or fan there. Ahh so many happy memories. When ever I go home, I just take my bike and go to the village. It feels great, simply great...

East Coast Road

2006-01-16T18:06:00.000+05:30

Laspal has got a new Avenger and it really feels like GOD. We decide to go on a bike trip on ECR to pondicherry. The ECR road is really nice and flat. With sea by the side and the cool breeze its feeling really great. Langur is also there. We three are having a nice time. Evening ride was never so heavenly. It got dark and we found a nice beach, with the fullmoon's reflection it was looking like silver sprinkled on the waves. We sat down, lit a fire. Tandori chicken with beer. It was amazing. We forgot about Pondicherry. Suddenly Laspal wakes me up and says "abe uth", I woke up and found myself in Langur's room,I realized it was a nice dream, I had around 4 mugs of beer that night on Langur's treat.

Someday we will make that trip, soon..........Very soon.

Now a Days I am Reading & Writing

2006-01-06T09:07:00.000+05:30

I never developed the habit of reading novels or books. But sometimes I pick up a book here and there and try to read. And in this process I have finished Lovestory(ya ya I know its too mushy,that was my first),Alchemist, FivePointSomeone, King of Torts, Black White & Various Shades of Brown. That's all. Out of these Lovestory & Alchemist were the worst. Somehow I can't relate to these fiction and unrealistic stuff in a book or novel. However untrue it may be, I can relate much more to something which feels realistic, which is straight from life, which happens or can actually happen. And may be that's why now a days I am reading Intentblog, a few more blogs, and books which I feel are realistic. Let me tell you that I have no idea about the authors of novels which ppl swear by. So for me a Dan Brown is as alien as Agatha Christie. And one thing I have realized , though late, is, it helps to read. To understand ppl, stories, perspectives, and life in general. When I was a kid the only stuff I used to read were Comics and Chandamama. And I used to pick up the newspaper everyday and turn to the page where there were these cartoon characters Henry,Archie,Denis and the humorous Lockhorns.

As far as writing is concerned, we hardly write now a days. Its such a pain to write with a pen and paper, you can't edit, the handwriting looks like some prescription. So whatever writing we are doing now a days is from the keyboard, where there is backspace to edit and Ctrl C & Ctrl V. It has made life a lot easier. I actually blogged my first blogs in 2001, but after three or four arbit posts I didn't continue. The writing bug had not bitten me. This blog is just a few months old. And now a days I am blogging with a decent frequency. And its not just blogging, there are a few more things taking shape, but let's keep them as surprises. And what an convenient medium blogging is. No rules, no boundaries, just myself. I hope I continue with this blog for ever.

Have Fun@COaDM

Saharanpur, Locker No 103

2006-01-04T16:44:00.000+05:30

We were three ppl. One was just about my age.He was wearing a jeans and a white and blue T shirt. A very happy and nice guy. The other was a uncle types. We packed our bags and were ready to leave. I asked,"When is your train?". He said,"Ten". OK. We bid goodbye. I took two locks, cameout of the Apartment and walked towards the lockers behind the apartment which were attached to a wall and behind the wall was a big tree. I went near the locker 105 and realized that mine is 103 and went to 103. The locker has two compartments, a small one on the top and the bigger one at the bottom. Usually I keep a Ten buck note in the smaller compartment. I locked the bigger compartment and locked my bag. Then I checked the smaller compartment for the Ten rupee note, and surprisingly found a 100 rupee note. I was happy. I took out the train ticket and checked the time. It was written 7:30 and just below the top of the ticket the train name was written as Saharanpur. Immediately I checked my wrist watch and it was 7:40. Just then my cellphone rang. I could feel the ringtone and the vibration. I woke up and picked up the cell, Langur was calling.

I don't know this guy in blue and white T shirt. But I remember his face.
I remember the Apartment.
I remember the Locker and the wall and the big tree behind the wall.
I have never stayed in a room with number 103.
I have never been to Saharanpur or boarded a train with that name and have never missed a train like this.

Again one of those vague dreams like Dream Catcher and Relativity

The Midpoint

2006-01-03T23:23:00.000+05:30

Ok the NewYear has passed and the celebrations are over, ppl are still getting the HNY greetings from near and dear ones. Its a good holiday actually. Now for me this 01/01 is not exactly the starting or what I say technically speaking this is not the beginning of the year. For me (and I am sure many will agree) that the Actual New Year starts with July. So the 01/01 becomes The Midpoint of this year. Many call it the Financial Year, Academic Year and any more terms which you can think of which suits you. It has more to do with the way academic calendars, tax filling dates, interest debited to a/c etc fall on dates. So now half of my Year is over and I hope the rest of the year passes smoothly.

HNY and All The Best 2 The Rest

2 B or not 2 B

2006-01-03T10:45:00.000+05:30

ie To Blog or Not to Blog. There are many things which I want to pen down in this blog, but since it concerns ppl and friends around me, I kind of hesitate to write down stuff. Not that its something personal or some secret which I want to divulge, but its something else. Things which I see happening around me. Things with which I am moving ahead. And many more things. Most of the time before blogging anything about any person whatsoever it may be, I just give it a thought whether I should blog or not. But I think I can take a lil bit of liberty to write down stuff which I feel like writing. And its not like there are N ppl reading this blog. So may be it won't affect that much also. So lets give it a shot.

Girlfriend

2006-01-03T09:36:00.000+05:30

I am chatting with someone on YM. Generally I don't hide this kind of stuff from my friends. The usual response is I am chatting with a gal whom I am trying to patao. I login in orkut, someone comes and checks, oh orkut is open, must be hitting on gals. I get a call, just move around talking, junta think I am talking to a gal whom I am trying to patao. I go to bangalore to meet a few friends, and junta think I went to visit a gal there.

With all due respect to all the gals who are my friends and who are in my friend list in orkut and whose numbers I have in my cellphone, dil pe maat lena. They are behaving like normal IITians do. Even the slightest sight of a gal coming closer whether by YM,Orkut,Phone or any other possible way, metamorphs into me trying to patao that gal. There must be some truth in whatever they say, but its not always that I am hitting on gals ;-)

Now everyone knows that I am in the "Single, Ready 2 Mingle" state, which most of the guys here do. So there is nothing strange in the way they think. As the saying goes, "Virginity is not dignity, but lack of opportunity". Ok that's a bit too much, but having a gf is something like that here, minus the sin of course. So if someone is spotted talking to a gal then the rest of the junta will say, "Sahi be bandi pata liya, aish kar". Its preity normal. I take it with a pinch of sugar ;-), I hope gals don't mind.

Coorg Trek and 6th wing reunion

2005-12-30T16:42:00.000+05:30

It all started with mails when we thought of a reunion. Plans were made and tickets were booked in advance. We decided on Coorg. Me, Langur, Laspal and Bunty from Chennai, Psycho from Hyd arrived at Bangalore on 24th morning.

TO BANGALORE
The train journey to Bangalore was peaceful. We woke up some arbit station and it was totally fogy. So went out and smoked a cig. No one to complain ;-) . There was enough cig left and the train started so I smoked the rest standing at the train door.

@MURALI AND GRANNY'S APARTMENT
Reached the apartment. Psycho's train was sometime in the morning. After sometime he came. The usual chitchats. Murali had a swollen eye because some mosquito had bitten him in the eye. It was nice to see wingmates together. We were not sure about Finger and Rapu. So had not decided on the Coorg Trek. Again it was time for some fresh air, so a few cigs burnt. Murali made some really nice tea for everyone. It was great with fag. After that it was time for lunch. Finally we decided to go ahead with the Coorg trip. Booked a TaTa Sumo for the trip. The plan, to travel whole night and reach there at morning. Murali was psyched,what if the driver crashes with the continuous drive.

We started at around 11 p.m. from Bangalore. Picked up a few beer and breezers on the way. After having one breezer Murali was saying, "Kya pila diya yaar burp aaraha hai" The fags were always there. After driving a long stretch the driver was actually feeling sleepy. So Granny drove a stretch and then the driver took over.

MORNING @ COORG
We reached Coorg at around 5 A.M. It was totally dark and cold. I had crashed through the journey, so was not feeling that sleepy. I , Langur and Bunty went for a small walk. There was no space inside the sumo to crash. So I decided to crash on the Sumo,and so did Langur. When I woke up Langur was not there. He could not sleep so went for a walk. It was a nice morning. It was a bit cold. Bunty arranged for some bamboo and wood. I lit a fire and the warmth was feeling great. Granny woke up and we smoked again.

THE TREK AND WATERFALL
We decided to go to the waterfall. It was a nice place with the water breaking into white streams. The trek was a bit dangerous with very little space to walk on. But it was full with trees and looked good. So we went ahead. Thanks to Bunty we have all these pictures here. After sometime we reached at the waterfall. It was a great place. Psycho and Laspal started on thier business of joint. The water was tempting to take a bath. Me, Granny and Murali went ahead and the water was hi funda. It was bathtub shaped and one can peacefully lie down and bath. If you go close to the rock you can see the water falling infront of the eye. Later Psycho, Langur, Bunty and Laspal jumped in. After that we had a few more fags and a few more snaps.

We were feeling hungry so trekked back to have some grub.

LUNCH @ COORG
After taking bath and trekking all the way back we were feeling really hungry. Had lunch at a nice restaurant. There was a marriage ceremony going on in the same hotel. There I saw the Coors style of wearing the saree which was really looking beautiful. After lunch went to see some sceninc beauty. Again took a few snaps and had some oranges with salt and chilli powder. First time I was having oranges like this.

GARDEN
Then we went to the garden where we spent some time. I and Granny did horse riding and the rest of the junta went for an elephant ride. There was nothing much to see around in the garden so we packed.

TIBETIAN MONASTRY

Next was the Tibetan monastery. Its one of its kind here outside Tibet. The place has two nice temples and gardens. Everywhere you can find Chinky guys moving around. There we spent sometime. After that we we went to the shops to buy a few key rings. Laspal is trying a nice knife. It was evening by this time and time to get back. After traveling for a long stretch we stopped at a restaurant and had dinner and after that some nice hot coffee at CCD and the usual fags continued. Finally we reachhed home tired and safe. Psycho and Laspal started on making another round of joints. Next morning woke up and were chitchating about the day's plans. Again Murali made some nice tea, it was really refreshing. Finally we decided to go to Forum.

FORUM
We had lunch at McD and roamed around at Forum for sometime. Had a few more fags. Psycho's train was there at 4 P.M. So he left. Then we headed to MG road to a bar. After the lunch I was full and had just one orange juice. Granny , Laspal and Langur had some nice beer. A few more fags burnt. Then we went ahead for bowling. It was fun. I came second ;-) Again we roamed around on the streets and decided to have some chocolate. Its called DBC (Death By Chocolate). Don't know how these guys thulped it, I had milkshake. After some shopping we came back to the apartment.

Our train was at 10:45 P.M . Packed everything and came to Majestic. Suddenly saw the weighing machine and decided to weigh. Guess what Laspal is 89, Langur is 56, I am 58 and Bunty is 62. Overall it was a nice trip and great to spend some time together with friends. Hope to have some more of these.

Dreams Unlimited

2005-12-20T10:15:00.000+05:30

I have known this guy from the day I stepped inside IIT. A brilliant sportsman and an equally creative person. When most of the IITians run around with resumes to get the top notch job in the final year, this guy was running around with a camera, chasing his dreams. You will hardly find an IITian who doesn't take a job and instead starts a career in film making. That too without any Godfather. Without much of resources. And he has made it. That's Rabi Kisku. He bought a video camera after borrowing money from friends. He made a small interesting video on iit life and it was the stepping stone for his film making career. He made a few ads also for NGOs. Next was the most happening stuff. A movie on IITians. There is a Five Point Someone moving around in the market. Suddenly Chetan Bhagat made the simple story of three underdog IITians popular. But making a movie with almost no resources was not child's play. To keep the budgets to minimum he went ahead with the Digital Format. The characters are the regular IITians. So you will see the real IITians in this movie. Airtel, Honeywell and AMD were the three big sponsors for the movie. But it was not as easy at it seems. There were times when he didn't have any money with him. He borrowed money from various resources. And at the middle of things, there was a cash problem. But he went ahead with the movie. Finally it has taken shape and now is due for release. Watch out for this one guys, the movie is going to be fun. Sometimes I tell him that, when he becomes a big director after a couple of films, I will make a documentary on his life ;-)

All the best dude

Break Free

2005-12-16T14:27:00.000+05:30

Life is becoming a little bit more monotonous. I am not complaining about that. But somewhere down the line I miss the variety. The blood rush, the excitement. I am searching for the escape. From what I don't know. To where I don't know. But I want to escape. When I saw The motorcycle Diaries , I just thought how different people live life differently. Some are happy earning lots of money, so much that they don't even have time or ways to spend them, or rather I would say enjoy it. There are many who just manage to meet both ends. But is money all that we want? Why don't people take a long vacation, go for something adventurous and do things they always wanted to do, but never do just because they are so busy with work. Is it that important. I don't know. Probably because I have not yet started working and I don't know how it feels to work. But one thing I have noticed is, they just work and work and almost do nothing else. Their way of spending time is either the weekend beer with their beer buddies or just go home tired and sleep as much as you can, probably compensate for the whole week's sleep loss. Is that what they thought they would be doing when starting with their professional life. I don;t think so. Everyone dreams of going for some outdoor activity, to join a gym , health club, most common being to be health conscious and start on a jogging program, but after the initial euphuism everything boils down to just one excuse, "I don't get enough time.I just get tired." Probably people actually become busy, and that's the price they pay for earning those mega bucks. But is it that difficult just to overcome this and start doing things you always wanted to do. These are small things which bring small happy moments and we cherish them. I am sure there are many who might have passionately thought about doing photography, or painting, or writing or reading books, go biking, spend sometime in the wild, visit and explore a new place and many more such activities. But with time they die a silent death. You see your dreams dying infront of you. That's definitely sad. You and only you are responsible for this. And only iff you want,you can overcome this. Its a well laid , traditional trap which everyone knows and everyone falls prey to but there are very few who either don't fall prey to this or come out of this. The choice is yours. I hope I'll never fall into this trap. But this urge to break free is burning more and more inside me. I don't know where will it lead me. I am myself confused. All I want is to break free, to escape. A different escape. May be future has many more things for me to discover. Someday I will break free.......Very soon.

Break Free..&.. Escape

How Does It Feel????

2005-12-14T23:17:00.000+05:30

How does it feel to get hit by a bullet? Piercing through the body, just for a micro second and it kills. So small, yet so deadly. How does it feel to dive into sub zero waters. The whole of the body experiences a current, a chill runs through the body for a moment. As in Titanic Jack says, water that cold, it hits you like a thousand knives stabbing you all over your body. You can't breathe can't think. How does it feel just before you meet with an accident. Just a few moments and you know that you are facing an accident, and for a moment everything seems to be out of control, you are there in the middle of things and keep watching, though for a small instant of time, you actually sense what's going to happen and yet your body becomes numb, you can't do anything. How does it feel when someone gets a life sentence and is going to be executed. Waiting for death itself can be killing. Every moment passing with anxiety and strange thoughts. And on the final day just before the death, how does it feel?

Small moments, yet they are so powerful. They can take the breath away. Just in a few moments life can change. So how does it feel in those small moments, when the brain stops thinking anything other then the event. In some cases it even stops thinking. Life just comes to a halt for a few moments. Stand still.

No Desires No Loss

No Regrets No Obligations

No Withhold Of Assent For No Cause

A Curse

Happenings

2005-12-12T11:44:00.000+05:30

Of late I have started doing a few things. Like jogging, have become a little more health conscious, trying to quit smoking and many more things. Running 2.5+2.5 km everyday and doing some stretching is feeling really great. I am almost on the verge of quitting smoking and I hope by the year end I will quit. And when the sem starts swimming will provide the required relaxatation. Planning is so easy, difficult part is to make it work. But the occasional drag during a booze party is hard to resist I guess. That's may be once in a month. Thankfully smoking has not affected much of my stamina. I hope I stay fit like this. There are plans of a 6th wing reunion, so looking forward to that. So obviously there will be booze and smoke and lots of grub. But what I am looking fwd to is some wild trekking or visiting a new place. I don't know why, but booze seems to be a major factor whenever there is a reunion. May be its the mellow feeling that comes with booze , sitting with friends, gossiping anything under the sun. I don't know why but now a days I don't get the enthu to booze. There was a time when on any given day a booze party happening was exciting. Now its the occasional GRT beer. Another pondicherry plan is also coming up. Lets see what's there in store. Again it will be some nice Bacardi and Smirnoff.

I missed my friend's sis' marriage on 10th dec at sambalpur and another marriage on 5th dec. Most of my skool friends were there and had a really great time. It has been a long time since I have met my skool friends. The internet and cellphone has made life a lil easier to be in touch. More on other happenings in some other post.

2005-12-07T23:58:00.000+05:30

Well, yes, ma'am, I do... I mean, I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what's gonna happen or, who I'm gonna meet, where I'm gonna wind up. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people. I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you... to make each day count.

2005 - 2 - 2006

2005-12-07T10:17:00.001+05:30

I know its a bit early. There are still 24 days to the new year. I never do any newyear resolutions. Because they can be made at anytime. But mostly ppl give up on them after sometime. So it doesn't matter. For me whether 2005 was a great year or not I don't know. But definitely it was a year full of events. A year which will be written in bold & italics in my pages of history. There are a few more years like this but lets not get into them. Surprisingly I am feeling more mature and grown up at the end of this year then I was earlier. I don't know what were the events which brought this little change in me. For me its difficult to pinpoint. But nevertheless they are there in 2005. Now life seems to move so fast and unnoticed. Deviations seem so great. May be its the time when the mind thinks of something but never overcomes it and goes the usual way, giving in to the things which come with a tag of safety, traditional and "that's how it is". Interestingly its not difficult to overcome them, but definitely it takes a lot to take the first step. Somehow I am feeling it in me. I don't know what will it lead to. But whatever be the outcome I am going to enjoy it. The journeys are as exciting and joyfull as the destinations. I know its going to be tough and will come with a lot of hesitations from people who care and also from people who don't care. Even writing this piece of blog was something which I didn't want to do, but I am writing it because it really doesn't matter to others what I feel. So, dear reader if you have come up to here and are clueless as to what's all this, then just forget it. I can neither explain to you , nor will explain to you. Coming back to me, the year 2005 brought experiences from which I learnt a lot of things. Still I have not been able to actually apply them to the real life and make use of it. But as I said I am feeling a change in me and I hope its going to work. I have not seen the year 2006, but one thing I know is this is also going to be one of the years which will be written in bold & italics in the pages of my history. Its going to be one of the memorable years. Sometimes there are these gut feelings which come true.

More on 2005 in detail near the newyear's time. There are still 24 days and anything can happen in these 24 days. And as I said I don't try resolutions, they can be done at anytime.

The beginning

Luck with Luckshmi

2005-12-04T10:25:00.000+05:30

There are times when we get lucky with cash or something . Here are a few

France World Cup 98- Wrist Watch with the Mascot

A T shirt in a trade fair where every hour they announce a winner from the junta, the entry is the same as the gate ticket just 2 bucks

A pressure cooker at home. We don't take the oriya newspaper, but our newspaper wala gives a copy if he finds an xtra copy. Now this particular newspaper guys come with camera and banners and ask if we show them their newspaper of that date we will win a gift. My mom just tells them that sorry we don't take this newspaper. I just checked that day our paperwala had given that xtra copy. I showed it and we won a pressure cooker :D

Hidesign Belt. I used to take Economictimes when there was no internet at room. One day I got a catalogue of Pondicherry and there was a contest at the end. The answers were there in the catlagoue and it was easy to find out. I just mailed it from four differenet e mail ids. Don't know which one clicked, I got 1000 /- gift voucher and bought two belts.

Ya now the Luckshmi part. There are many instances when I have been lucky. A few memorable ones

Goa.. roaming around and two of my friends' roll finishes. So we go to the shop and they buy two rolls, but the uncle didn't cut much price. Just then I checked my camera and it was about to finish. So I went and asked for a Kodak roll. The printed price was 115 I guess. I asked it for 100. Uncle ji finally gave it for 110. I gave him a 500 note and he gave me 440 , an extra 50 :)

Last summer when I was in insti I stayed in the hostel for one month and 20 days. The mess bill should have been a minimum of 2500. When I came and checked it was 250. I just ran to the ATM, paid 250 and got my No Dues Certificate.

Once I made my bank balance negative by 600 bucks.

There was this xerox shop wala who xeroxed some extra copies and was asking me to pay for that also. It was 7 bucks. I was getting late so I just gave him a Rs 50 note and told him to listen carefully how many copies the customer wants. He returned me 93.

And there are N small instances like this.

Cellgebra

2005-12-04T09:56:00.000+05:30

It goes like this.
August 1st week first recharge .Balance 1000 /- (Full Talk Time)
Inbetween a top up recharge 180 /-
Present Balance 75 /-
Total time 1080 mins
Outgoing 400 mins
Rental @1/day for four months 120 /-
Avg outgoing call rate per minute (1000+180-75-120)/400 ~ 2.46
Avg spending per month (1000+180-75)/4 ~ 275
sms 2910 , avg 24 smss per day

Things I want to do

2005-12-01T11:11:00.000+05:30

Do lots of Black & White Photography
Learn keyboard
Learn Cooking
Travel a lot on a Bike
Do Scuba Diving
Do Interior Design

Movies

2005-11-20T22:31:00.000+05:30

I never used to watch so many English movies back home. The source was not sufficient and the usual Bollywood hindi movies were entertainment. But here at IIT and thanks to the insti LAN I have watched so many good movies. Its not just entertainment. After watching the movies and knowing about the characters, its just changed the perspective of what movies are, how they are made and their class. I hope I get more opportunities to see these kind of movies in future. More on these sometime later and my reviews and views on movies old and new, both bollywood and Hollywood ;-)

A Nice Weekend

2005-11-20T22:11:00.000+05:30

This weekend was great. Bhaskar and Jagatjit came from Mysore to write CAT here. But that was just an xcuse I guess to spend some time together. Even I was feeling a lil bored staying in the hostel and not going out. We went to the beach after a long time. Somehow it felt the same when I had first visited the beach. Then we went for a great pizza treat by Koyla and then some nice ice cream. Today spent a lot of time roaming around in Spencer, gen time pass and bandi taping and my friends bought a few stuff. Had lunch there thanks to Baba Ji's treat. In the evening had a mast dinner in a gumbal. It was two days spent really well. I had fever, cold and headache just before two days, and after such a wonderful weekend I am feeling really great. Hope I meet my friends regularly wherever I go.

My FirstEver Accident

2005-11-18T19:14:00.000+05:30

First of all these Chennai Autowalas are bastards of first order. Half an hour back I was going peacefully with my friend to drop him at his home. The road was a little busy. There was a Qualis on the left hand side which was a bit slow and I was on around 3o to 35 kmph. Suddenly from the left hand side this auto comes to the middle of the road and I applied brakes and tried to avoid it also. But there was this Qualis on the left side. I banged at an angle with the auto and the headlight broke. I don't know where did I bang myself and my neck hit somewhere with the auto's rod I guess. My friend got some injury on his leg. I got a few on my right leg and right hand, its still paining. Now this motherfucker starts shouting in tamil as if its my fault. The aunty ji in the auto was saying why the hell were you crossing the road when its not free. But these bastards don't care. Fortunately the lights were working and I came back safely. My neck is still paining a little bit. Sale ek number ke chutiye hote hain ye autowale. My friend was getting late, as he had to get his cloths from the laundry wala, tomorrow morning he has a flight and we had to just leave. Otherwise I might have beaten that bastard there itself. The other reason being this is a UP bike and the Police in Chennai are no better. They can do anything with you.

Dream Catcher

2005-11-17T10:41:00.000+05:30

I hardly remember the place where we were standing. She was wearing a Jeans and a top.
Suddenly I saw two policeman running towards us. We started running. One of the policeman fires and it hits her leg.I don't know whether it was aimed at me or her. She is injured.She is not able to run. I had to lift her and somehow escape. All these while I was not able to figure out , why the hell are the policemen running after us. I found a few more people who helped me out and took us to this musical stage where some kind of music show was going on. I took her backstage and called my brother to give the doctor's number. Then I just went to the stage and along with the dance troupe I stared dancing, trying to disguise from the police and check if they are there. I hardly know dancing and was just jumping here and there. Someone gave me a firecracker and asked me to brust it holding it in my hand when there was some loud music going on.It was a lighter kind of firecracker and it looked great on stage and ppl started clapping. When I didn't see the policemen anymore I ran backstage and found a bandage on her leg and the doctor had attended her. Then we were on a flight. I called my brother from the flight if we can stay in the airport for sometime without exiting, so that the police don't catch us and if he could call the doctor so that he will take care after we come out of the airport as she was still not well.I was still wondering why the police was after us.But somehow I didn't want to get caught and get into trouble and she was injured also. We found some room in the airport itself and she is taking rest.

I wake up and see the cell its 7:30 in the morning.

In all this I know only two persons properly ie me and my brother whom I called.
I just know her a little bit.
I don't know the policemen.
I don't know the place.
I don't know the music stage and who were the people.
I don't know the doctor.
I have never boarded a flight.
I have never seen someone firing towards me.

Somehow I remember my dreams for the day if I want to. Here is another one.

The Rabbit & The Tortoise

2005-11-15T10:34:00.000+05:30

It was a bright sunny afternoon. The Rabbit was munching on a carrot. The Tortoise was just enjoying the cool breeze and lazing around on the sand.
Rabbit,"You run so slowly"
Tortoise,"Well, Yes I am not as fast as you. That's how nature has made me"
Rabbit,"Such a pity.I wonder how you manage.If you run a race it will take ages for you to reach, he he he."
The Tortoise remains silent and just enjoys the cool breeze and the pleasant weather.
Now the Rabbit thinks of making fun of the Tortoise and says lets race.
The Tortoise agrees and gives a murky smile.
The Tortoise says, "we will run along the beach, Ok".
The Rabbit agrees. The Tortoise points to a lighthouse and says that will be our finish line.
1, 2, 3 go.
The Rabbit runs and runs. He is faster then the tortoise. After sometime he almost disappears.
The Tortoise gets inside the sea and starts swimming. Just enjoying the water, meets a few other tortoises on the way, chits chats with them, meets a few fishes. Nnjoys the view of the colorful corrals and the underwater sea. Finally after a long time when he reaches the lighthouse he comes out of water. There he finds the rabbit gasping for breath. The rabbit is thirsty. The rabbit says, if he doesn't drink water he will die. He tried the salty water but could not drink it.

Moral of the story
Enjoy life and don't just get into the rat,,, err rabbit race ;-)

GoogleWhack

2005-11-10T09:43:00.000+05:30

I don't have much fundae on GoogleWhack, I just know that it returns just a few results or a single result.......and just now I found one. I don't know if this is GoogleWhack or not but this one gives you just two results....... its Scouva
Surprisingly I was not searching a word for GoogleWhacking, but this one striked my mind while thinking of a name for a company and I searched for it if it xists. Sounds wired but that's how it is ;-)

Relativity

2005-11-09T05:51:00.000+05:30

In our lifetime we come across so many times when we compare and get compared. Nothing strange in it,, its just normal human behavior. Be it small or big, but we do compare. Be it at the starting as a kid compared with the kids next door, in school, with other students, academically, in sports, in arts, when in college with other studs.Be it the IQ factor, the cool factor , the looks factor, the cash factor and so many infinite things, the list is endless I guess.And not surprisingly ppl get affected by this comparison in someway or the other,, be it big or small. To put all these I would just say, everything is relative. Nothing absolute about it. In all these comparisons ppl often forget that,its not absolute.Everyone is unique, everyone has got some qualities and the combination of all these qualities makes him unique.Picking up a few from these,and saying he is not good or bad is mere comparison and nothing else.

"Ash, the world's most beautiful woman", for me Sush is more beautiful then ash.

"I want to come first". Xcellent, that's a lot of effort and hardwork,, and you deserve it. But if you say I want to come first and can't do with a 2nd or 3rd,, then I would say w.r.t whom?.In a class, there are just a bunch of kids, that's not the end, in a school, again that's a group of students and the more you come out of these subsets,you are still being compared w.r.t a group.You can't be the absolute first. In this whole process of coming first, does anyone ever realize that he is relatively better then the 2nd or 3rd.This obsession with parents to see their kids always come first begins at the start of their life and haunts throughout their life.Do they ever realize that,beyond coming first there are other things in life, which are more important.

Yeah, coming first feels good,but what's the use if you can't share the happiness with the guy who came 2nd or 3rd, or I would say the guy who came last.Whats the use if you don't help the guy who is 3rd or 4th just thinking that he may take the lead or even don't help the guy for whom your coming first doesn't even matter in the list. Upto some point this "first" tag will take you somewhere, but beyond that,its you, the inner you which matters.The guys who came 4th, 5th,30th and 40th are great friends,who cares if the guys who came 1st , 2nd and 3rd were fighting for the 1st slot and that was their only aim.

I am more intelligent, I know more, I - - - - more,,, do ppl ever think that they are using a relative term like "more" and come up with these kind of statements.

Am I looking good? Am I pretty? Am I intelligent? Yes, ask me these and I will give you my view, my opinion and how I perceive you and the uniqueness that you have.

But , come with statements like Am I looking better then someone? Am I more intelligent? and I would say, why the hell do you care, why the hell are you asking me? If you want a more appropriate answer, then collect information from as big a sample as you can and find out yourself, or take the average, that will be the closest to what you are asking for.Why don't ppl understand that each individual is as unique as you. Compare when its due, when its required. No one buys stuff for a price which is available on the next shop with a lesser price.Thats fair.

Whether you buy my thoughts or not, I don't care. Call,whatever the whole world wants to call me, I don't care.May be someday you will come up with something which is absolute, and may be for that you will have to think beyond the speed of light......................till then keep searching

3351/3352

2005-11-06T13:36:00.000+05:30

Chennai Central,,,, busy people,,,,there is a section where iron chairs are there for passengers to wait for trains and large electroic boards display arrival and departure of trains, train numbers, platform numbers. And the TVs hanging from the ceiling, displaying the same stuff in a more colorfull screen. And the advertisements that flash so many times, most of which I find really annoying, Chennai Silks,, some ice cream,, milk,,Jewellery,, and stuff and all these in tamil. I doubt if any of the passengers will get affected positively by this marketing strategy. And the special one where they show to be carefull while travelling, not to take any food stuff from strangers and how he loots you from head to toe.A line of shops selling books, magazines newspapers, juice, coffee, tea,a few STD booths, food, arts and crafts and ofcourse the idli , vada , dosa , upma selling shop.

Ok, no preity gals around, not even the cute chinky gals are visible.Most of the ppl here seem to come here either to visit the Appolo hospital or to have a southindia darshan. All uncles and aunties. Somehow I have to kill time, grab a Businessworld and a coffee and wait for the train to arrive. Thanks a ton to the guy who invented the walkman.Atleast it keeps the annoying announcements out of your mind. I have this strange habbit of signing the front and back page and the pages numbered 10 and 100 of magazines. I borrow a pen from the uncle sitting next to me and after signing the magazine give it back. Uncle gives a wired smile. Inbetween turning pages my eyes keep looking if I could by chance see a preity gal.. after sometime I see a preity gal in jeans and a tee with a trolley ;) waoo cool,,,, err who is this guy with a kid who is calling her.Hmm so she is married,, so what, she is preity and thats enough. After some time it gets a lil boring, I wish there were smoke rooms in public places like this, I give a blank stare at the pack of Kings.By this time I have spoted a few preity gals ;-), somehow they seem so excited about ,well I don't know, may be the journey, giigling, chit chating,, holding a coke or a pepsi.

"Passengers,Your kind attention please. Train No 3,3,5,2 running from Allepy to Dhanbad wili arive shortly at platform No 9". "Yatrigan kripaya dhayn dein, Allepy se Dhanbad jane wali gadi no 3,3,5,2 thode hi der main platform no 9 par aayegi".I don't remember a single word of what it says in tamil.

The train arrives, suddenly I see ppl rushing towards the train,,, must be for the general compartment. But why the hell ppl having reserved tickets rush. I wait for another 10 minutes and then start walking towards platform no 9. Its easier going to your compartment after 10 minutes ,, there is no rush. I reach my comparment and as usual check the list, F 17 to F 22 , cool there are three of them just next to my berth. This is one of the things which all the IITians do but very few get lucky,, because it hardly happens that preity gals travelling in sleeper will be near the same berth as yours.Oh peace,, there they are, sitting and giigling as usual. I just give a strange look,chain my trolley and walk out to check out other preity faces.The three are neway going to be there :D. The train starts moving and I get in. By this time they have already setteled down. Ok don't start the conversation first. I just sit near the window and look outside, though nothing much is there to look at.I just seem to enjoy the cool breeze.I grab my old businessworld and after reading a few pages keep it aside, suddenly one of them asks, "Xcuse me, can I have the magazine" , "ya, sure" . After two or three minutes, she flips a few pages and returns it back. So , where are you going? Sambalpur, Ok, it comes sometime around 2 in the night, right??,, Ya,, phir to kafi thand hota hoga tab,, tum ghar kaise jate ho? Mera bhai aajata hai lene,,aur tum sab? Ranchi,, tum chennai main padhte ho kya? Haan, engineering kar raha hoon, aur tumsab? /Another one speaks/,,we are students of NIFT, Ok, kaun sa branch hai tumhara? Naval Architecture, /"suddenly I find a smile of xcitement on their faces"/ kaun sa college , iit, /"the next moment I find a wired smile on their faces and I bulb"/./ No more questions, and they start chit chating among themselves. I get back to my magazine and put the earphones.After sometime I crash./

Next morning I wake up with the sound of chai ,, garam chai,, coffee. I take my brush , paste , gave a blank stare at the Kings pack, and walk out to the platform to brush. After a cup of hot tea it was nice reading the newspaper under the sun. Suddenly the train starts moving and I run. Two of the gals are awake now..I just gave a nice goodmorning type look and started reading the newspaper. What crap, this is full of gult news and stuff, thankfully its sunday and I switch to the magazine section. I finished the magazine in abt 15 minutes and by this time they were back after brushing. ye kaun sa station tha, pata nahi, maine naam dekha tha par yaad nahi hai" /its just 15 mins and I forgot the name =)), FK/", ok, to tum itni jaldi uth jate ho,haan, train main jada neend nahi aata muje,,,par maine to suna hai iit main ladke der tak sote rahete hain, haan, par main jaldi uth jata hoon./ "Now she was feeling a lil comfortable I guess"/ accha ek baat puchon , don't mind, kya?? , IITians bahut flirty aur despo hote hain,, hai na? haan par sab nahi, but ya most of them are, IIT main ladkiyan hi itne kam hote hain na islye. /we three laugh/ /One of them opens a bag and a few packets of biscuit and cakes pop out. She offers me biscuits/ Thanks, main biscuit nahi khata.(trust me I really don't eat) kyun,? aaise hi, accha cake to khate ho na, kya ye chocolate flavour ka hai, haan,, sorry main chocolate flavor ka kuch bhi nahi khata,, actually muje chocolate flavour accha nahi lagta, /she gives a wired smile/ After that we started chitchating for sometime, which included subjects we study, usual movie stuff, food in chennai, how it sucks ,, places they have visited, how IITians cash on NIFT gals and vice versa and why are IITians so despos. The day just passed smoothly,, in the evening it was great,, the cold breeze and I was listening to some hindi number sitting by the window. At about 11 in the night she grabbed a novel and went to sleep, and said,, tumhara statoin to 2 baje aayega kaise uthoge abhi tak nahi soye ??? Aree,, kuch nahi,, abhi neend nahi aayegi muje,, I will just listen to a few songs aur agar main soo bhi gaya to koi problem nahi, age ja ke aunty ke yahan ruk jaonga ya phir friend ke yahan, main har bar ghar main bol ke rakhta hoon ke so gaya to ghabrayen nahi. / Finally it was a nice journey. I still don't understand whats the image of IITians outside.

The Division Bell

2005-11-04T09:24:00.000+05:30

Let me confess that after staying in a SouthIndian City like Chennai and in an institute where I came across the southindian languages, I hardly know a bit of them. And I am like the many other nonsouthindians(NorthIndian) who don't know the southindian languages. I had to use the word "nonsouthindians", because, here it doesn't matter whether you are from the eastern, northern,central or western part of India. If you are from any of these,you are a Northie. So I call it NorthIndia and Rest of India.

Though, I myself don't have anything against SouthIndia , what makes me write this piece of blog is the frequent news articles and discussions going on around, about this socalled culture or language invasion. And I don't deny that I am not a part of these discussions. Today I read this article where natives of Karnataka (or is it the political parties only) who think that the so called urban lifestyle and cyber jobs come with a baggage of English and ppl are no more using Kanada. So what do they want? Use Kannada as the medium of language in all these jobs, which are dealing with more and more global companies. With all due respect, these are the same ppl who send their kids to English medium schools, where hardly Kannada might be taught, and its not the case with this language only its the case with anywhere in India. These are the same ppl who want their sons and daughters to go for higher studies to foreign Univs.

There is and always be cultural differences, as no two cultures are same. I have myself come across so many cases. Once my friend from lucknow was going by train when an elderly tamil uncle started chatting with my friend. So he came to know that he is studying in IIT M and asked if he learnt tamil, my friend said no. The reaction the uncle gave was something ,,,errr expected, he started arguing, you have been in Chennai for three years and how come you don't know tamil, or you didn't learn tamil. Well the truth is we hardly interact with ppl outside the insti and we talk either in english or hindi with eachother. But uncle didn't buy this. My friend asked uncle if he knows hindi. He said no. With all due respect he had to say him that hindi is the national language and how come he doesn't know . The train was heading to northindia.

Another is the case of autowallas. Most of the ppl who have dealt with autowalas in Chennai will agree with me that,, they are the most rudest ones. Even if they know hindi, they won't speak. And the worst part is, they won't talk, they will just keep saying something which you will never understand,, even if you remind them that you are not getting a single word they will continue blabbering, as if you will give a few bucks for this effort. And yes, most of them don't use meters and will say a price which varies from 30 to 60 % more then what it would cost actually. I have not been to many cities but have been to bangalore and lets take the autowalas of bangalore. Generally I didn't find them rude, use a meter, and many of them listen to the hindi songs on FM radio. And they know hindi and english well. When they are dealing with so many english and hindi speaking ppl daily, naturally they will get used to it. Now is this culture or language invasion?

In an institute where ppl from all parts of India are there, I have friends from many cultural and language backgrounds and the medium of language has always been either hindi or english. There is a difference in preserving and respecting culture and languge , rather then forcing it on some other culture. In a day to day life where most of the time we deal with ppl from different backgrounds, a common language is the easiest and best mode of communication.

Diwali 2005

2005-11-01T16:09:00.000+05:30

Wish you all a Subh Diwali and lots of luv.

The Second Fu Meeting

2005-10-20T00:30:00.000+05:30

This is the second of our FU meeting, and again it was great. The only problem with the first one was Arpz had an accident. This time we spent much more time and that was great.
It was a perfect morning, woke up a lil bit late, Hemant and Abhishake went to office and Hemant left the room key with me. Now this duffer didn't give me the main gate key and locked me inside.Fortunately I knew that just a push and it opens, but I can't lock it from outside, just latched and went out for my usual fag and came back, watched TV after such a long time. Same with lunch also.Now sam calls and says that he has to go home and can we meet sometime. I could not leave the house, so Hemant comes a lil early from office and we meet at the Garuda Mall near Arpz's office. She was wearing a saree with which she was looking really beautifull. Finally we three meet, but there is no sight of sam. Suddenly from nowhere sam appears just at the entrance of the mall. Finally I meet sam, a nice guy with a yeda mind ;-) , immediately his cell pops out and he takes a few snaps. Now time to enter the mall and do some TP. Now the hot topic is who is taller Sam or Arpz and every now and then Arpz beats Sam and Sam is just running away from her. Finally I take a pic where Sam seems to be taller then Arpz. We grab a pizza a vanilla , an ice cream and a juice and thulp. Now the conversation topic is, why Sam came to Bangalore leaving the CA job at hyd,, we get some arbit answers which never seem to be reasonable. Finally Sam had to leave early as he had to catch a bus for Hyd. So we are outside the mall , with the cool breeze. Suddenly Hemant notices this gal and says "Abe woo bulbul jaise nahi dikh rahi, dekh ", and next thing is we three are looking at the gal as if we are going to eat her live. Finally we convinced Hemant that she doesn't look like bulbul. Next I gave Punita's no and Arpz calls her up. We chated for sometime, and I got a few galis from Nisha for not telling her that I am in Bangalore. We chated for sometime and it was time to go. Arpz had to go to her office to catch the cab and myself and Hemant headed home without knowing the roads. Bangalore has lots of these oneways which makes life hell.

Next day we went to arpz home,and she had cooked a nice meal for us. Fortunately uncle and aunty were not there otherwise they would not have let me eat from the plate holding with hands. Neway arpz cooks really good :) We had decided to go to the ISKON temple which opens at 4 o'clock in the evening. So after lunch we played carrom, the teams were me and Arpz and Hemant and Akshaya, Arpz brother. Finally both kids lost due to my strategies ;) , next we went to the ISKON temple. Its a nice place,and its like a corporate temple as Arpz says. Now something happened to hemant and he was taking more time to see every GOD there, I don't know what was he asking from each one of them. Neway I didn't have anything to ask :) so Arpz and I were just chatting. Finally as usual it rained in the evening and fortunately we got autos just outside the temple to get back home. It was really a nice trip.

On sunday I went to see two of my friends, Murali and Apar and thought of catching the next day train at 8 in the morning for Chennai, but at 11 in the night Apar calls and says, lets go for a drive, cool, we three on two bikes went on a drive on Hosur road for upto some 80 Km , it was great fun, with some grub, a fruit juice bottle and a packet of cigs, it was great, with the chilly wind blowing past. Had some grub at a petrol pump restaurant, and came back home at around 5 30 in the morning. Next,I had to come to chennai by bus in the afti. Finally a nice bangalore trip again.

My Online Life

2005-09-19T09:42:00.000+05:30

Well there are two kinds of lives we live, both run parallel but there is a stark difference, a difference everyone knows, theoritically speaking its not separate, but practically speaking its a lil bit separate, with some intersection points and ya there are times when you can superimpose them also. The online offline stuff I mean, eg this blog is online and I am writing it online, but the content is offline. A few things which have become like taking breath are GAIM, CellPhone, and the Cupax Internet. The morning starts with a few sites in tabs, ahh I love Mozilla Suite , thanks a ton to whoever wrote the code for tabed browsing , ya coming to the sites, no first its the gaim ya then the sites, Gmail, Economictimes, Hindu,Hindustantimes,Telegraph, and on sundays IndianExpress Magazine ,Indiatimes Email,(thats my online lottery portal, not yet lucky,but lets see) and sometimes wikipedia. ohh did I forget Orkut ya that beautifull thing with an online profile a few pics a few things about you and your interests and stuff and strange things happen :) don't know how its going to workout but I have come across a few ppl whom I never knew before, who have now become friends,with whom we share many things, have met a few of them and felt really nice to meet, really nice persons. Thats the superposition I guess. Life moves on and I wish I meet all of them,, may not be possible but lets see,,,,,, never thought that I will meet even these few guys whom I met ,,, so lets see....Though there is not much of a difference in the online and offline stuff, its the perception that matters and what I found after meeting is, offline they are almost same as online, don't know about me though, but its upto the ppl to perceive, choose, decide. Enough food for thud for today.. a busy week ahead and yaa the funda

Love Me or Leave Me

Ganesh Chathurthi

2005-09-07T09:28:00.000+05:30

Today is Ganesh Chathurthi :) there was a time when I used to enjoy it so much, the school days when preparing for the mandap, getting new clothes, sweets and visiting the different mandaps in the city. The uniqueness of Sambalpur Ganesh Puja has been the different artistic creativity. Ganesh murtis in different sizes and shapes, different themes.A murti made of totaly coconuts, match sticks, 5 paise coins, ghee etc were the centre of attraction, and the festive season used to start with this, ganesh puja, then dushera and diwali. Today it feels like just another holiday, but neverthless holidsays are welcome :) no one complains about them I guess. So its time to enjoy with friends. Enjoy

Friendship Day & My Sony T290i

2005-08-09T09:28:00.001+05:30

Well this is not about Friendship Day :)) though I gifted myself with a Sony Ericsson T290i. Looks cool and sexy with the mist black color and color screen. With a color screen, great looks and a free travel bag its a great deal for a basic user like me. It has got all the pseud functions like GPRS,WAP,E-mail,MMS,USB port and stuff I still have to discover these things.For a basic user like me SMS and calls are enough. Who is going to use it for surfing when I have a free internet 24/7 at room :))

My First Orkut Meeting :)

2005-07-20T15:17:00.000+05:30

First time I was meeting a few of my orkut friends and it was great. Just an opportunity that we were in Bangalore at the right time.But the meeting happened with a sad news. Arpz met with an accident, i hope she recovers fast.And her family is really great, I had home cooked food after such a long time, thanks to aunty.Hemant was very helpfull. Bechare ko kafi bhagna pada bike par.Met Abhishake also, a cool and nice person. Me Hemant and Abhishake had a great time.Hemant sochta bahut hai :)) . Met Bulbul also,she looks really beautiful, ek dum bubly types.I hope to meet the rest of the junta very soon, kyun ke ye jindagi bahut lambi hai .Finally it was great to see ppl with whom we do so much chit chatting.

A romantic night

2005-07-10T03:23:00.000+05:30

Its such a romantic night, at 3 in the night, sitting outside my room, the corridor is empty.just a few tubelights glowing. Looks like a vast stretch of wood with just a thin road and no one else.A perfect time to have a lil bit of pleasure.There she is, lying on my bed,longing to feel the heat.Even I want.I take her in my hands,and a passionate kiss, just the right kind of drag to make her feel more hot.A few more kisses and she is getting closer, and closer to me. Its amazing.She is loosing all her energy with every kiss, but I don't mind, I am enjoying it.

Ek taraf woo jal rahi hai aur dosri taraf mera dil.What am I supposed to do, well I think its time to get back to bed.

Pictures of Sambalpur

2005-07-07T09:27:00.000+05:30

Khandadhaar Waterfall

Hirakud Dam

A park near NuaPatna near a reservoir

Sambalpuri Saree weaving

Huma temple and the river bank where tourists feed the fish. This temple is leaning at angle like the leaning tower of pisa

Fish near the Huma temple.

Children's Day

2005-07-06T16:32:00.000+05:30

Dear papa

my taecher says wriet one stori to papa. I remebmer you uesd to say, teling lice no papa.so I wil tel onlee turth. that day you got mee choclaet no, on that day, I met one unkel, veri nyce unkel, he hav long wihte hiar. at frist I dint undrestnad whaht he say. he ask mee name. I tel my naem snow wihte. he tel mee he nose maagic. I laaf. he assk mee waht you waant. I tel icekreem. he gaev mee one biiiiiig cone icekreem. I lick it veri mucch.I ask hym whare your hoem.he tel ingland. I ask, how faar from my skool. he say veri faar. befour saiyng tata byebye, he aask me waht gift I waant.I tel hym I yam veri baad at sepelling. he smyled, toled mee wehn you want to sepell rihgt, juss saay shaykspeer twise.I saay ok. he suddnnly plaay hyde an seek. I search four him.He nott their. I tol teecher about unkel, she laaf at me.that iss my stori. You bileave me no papa. I no my sepelling stil badd. May b I wil do what unkel said. Saay shaykspeer.shaykspeer. I have said shakespeare twice. I don't know whether my spelling has improved. My teacher wants to read my story papa. So I have to say. THE END now.

Huggies and kisses

Snow White

Every child has a tale to tell. Time you listened to yours.

Issued for busy papas on Children's Day

This was one of the ads by Sharad Haksar for STORI on Children's Day

Sharad Haksar

2005-07-06T14:03:00.000+05:30

My fav photographer.The style and creativity he executes is totally hi funda. You don't need much photography fundae to understand his work.He has worked for a long list of companies.Major brands he has handled are Derby,Stori,Tanishq, Louis Philippe, Indigo Nation ,Basic ANZ Grindlays, BPL, Brooke Bond, Brylcream, Citibank, ColorPlus, Compaq, Ford, Kodak, Kwality Walls, Mahindra Resorts, MRF, Parryware, Pepsi, Ponds,RayBan, Reynolds, Sheraton Hotels, Taj Group of Hotels,Tata, The Hindu, Times Of India, Titan,Whirlpool, Vaseline and World Of Titan. Most interesting about his photography is the simple things he uses to mean something so hi funda. One of his ads for AIDS Prevention was critically acclaimed when he had put a condom on a shuttle cork. Some of his shirt ads were inspired by nature.The photographs show shirts made with leaves,sand,wood etc. One of my fav pictures is an ad for cable company where it shows a LAN wire in the shape of noodles on a fork and steam coming out of the LAN wire. Totally hi funda.Another ad which is well picturized is a model inside water for SODA casuals.

A must watch for any photography enthusiast.

www.sharadhaksar.com
www.1pointsize.com

Awards
2004
1 Gold , 1 Silver , 2 Bronzes and 21 honorable mentions-IPA (International Photography Awards)
1 Bronze , 2 Nominations - New York Festivals
Finallist - LIAA (London International Advertising Awards)
12 Sparks - Chennai Ad Club Awards

2003
Nomination - Photography and Image Manipulation D&AD (British Design & Art Direction)
Nomination - New York Festivals
7 Sparks - Chennai Ad Club Awards

2002
The Runners Up Award - PDN PIX Digital Imaging Contest
3 Sparks - Chennai Ad Club Awards

Inside Outside

2005-07-02T02:05:00.000+05:30

Why am I writing this blog? Is this some kind of a revelation to the outside world which I want to tell or is this something about my inside world which I want to keep a secret. Well neither I guess. Because neither can I divulge everything here, nor can I keep it inside me.So a lil bit of letting it out is what I am writing here.Is it a coincidenec or it just happened that when I am going through worst of my life that I have started writing this blog.May be both.But even if I write and by a remote chance ppl read it, then how does it matter.Why will someone read this.This is not a comic story that if someone reads this he will laugh.This is neither a novel which he will read.Its all about me and all sorts of things happening around me. Thought that I wont write any more of this kind of stuff, but I guess when you write you never think about what you are writing,or may be you do, but you never control it.So the same story continues.Is this what a blog shouldlook like????? Well I don't know.There are ppl who put ad-sense in blogs to generate some revenue. I guess if I put an ad-sense here, I will generate links which will lead to some odd links.Well there are very few ppl who visit my blog.infact its two, just two.so why am I writing all this.Although its there publically on the internet,but who will come here and see,unless I do somekind of marketing and advertisement.but why do I have to do that.wellwhatever may be the case, I am writingand without any purpose.may be later when i look back this is how my history will look like.and when you write without any purpose you write crap I guess. like this, totaly crap crap and crap, nothing else.but who is complaining, as long as I am writing it.so lets see , for how long will I be writing.

Why ??????

2005-06-29T20:09:00.000+05:30

Why am I so reticent? Why can't I just go out and shout my heart out? Why do I sound like a puzzle to others? Why can't others know me? Why I don't let others know me? Why I run away from myself? Why I don't regret? Why I don't feel the pain? Why can't I cry and let my heart out? Why do I sound so intrigued? Why I don't let my emotions come out? Why some people misjudge me? Why I don't have any more fear in me? Why have I become like a blackboard where anyone can come and write anything or just wipe and write again? Why people become so curious when someone is going throuh a bad phase? Why can't they behave normaly and make things more simpler when everything is becoming so complex? Why can't I be left alone? Why am I like this? Why am I so blunt? Why do I don't crave for love, affection?

Why.... ? Why......... ? Why.................. ?????????

And I know no one can answer this. Not even me. I know I have to live with this. There is no escape I guess.

Milenge Milenge

2005-06-28T10:05:00.000+05:30

Milne ki tumhe kab fursat,hum tumhare yadon se kab khali ,
lagta hai mushkil milna milana ,Na tum khali na Hum khali..!!

milenge milenge, jaror milenge, kabhi to hoga dono ka waqt khali
bas intezar karo uss din ka,,ab jindagi ban gaye hai ek paheli
anjane hai , begane hai , haan lagti hai thodi akeli
dekhna bhi to hai us chand ko jo lagti hai bholi bhali. . . !!

2005-06-26T21:06:00.000+05:30

lehron ka intezar karne wale sahil ke ret kya jane
registan main mitti ka haal kya hai

iss ka gum nahi ke dil ke tokde hue hain
iss ka gum hai ke, ab waqt nahi hai

ye gila mat kar ke kya gum kya khusi hai
har lamha katne ke ab aadat si ho gaye hai

eid hi tha jab ye chand nazar aaya muje
khuda ka sukriya ke tu mere sath hai

der se hi sahi kabhi mulaquat to hogi jaror
usdin ka besabri se interzar hai

Friendship

2005-06-25T20:12:00.000+05:30

Dosti Mein Dil Ka Tamasha Dekha Nahi Jata
Humse Tuta Hua Sisa Dekha Nahi Jata
Apne Hisse Ki Khusiya Bhi De Du Tujhe
Aye Dost Tera Utra Hua Chehra Dekha Nahi Jata

Kings

2005-06-17T13:58:00.000+05:30

Subha ke pehli kiran
Khane ke baad ka desert
Sam ka chaiye
Dinner ke baad ka walk
Raat ka timepass

Kings Rules

2005-06-13T12:00:00.000+05:30

No Desires No Loss

No Regrets No Obligations

No Withhold Of Assent For No Cause

A Curse

Pause....?

Sambalpur

2005-06-10T11:36:00.000+05:30

bahut lekhli english thi, achen tike sambalpuri thi bhi lekhi desi.eeta ya ta tume bujiparba, ya fir ekla mui buji parmi.hentie bhi sambalpuri bujbar bagir mor besi kehi sang nai na jen mane ke mor ee blog padhbe.lekhbar lagi ta henta kichi khas nai na,khali bhabli je sabhe ta english , hindi thi lekhsan, mui sambalpuri thi kain nai lekhti tike,atleast gute post ta lekhbar katha.jaha hele bhi sambalpur ra aayen.een ke aayla utaru khali ghar ke phone karsi bele jai kari sambalpuri thi katha hesi, nai ta aur kahar sange nai, haan aur balangir ra gute sang ache tar sange sambalpuri thi katha hesi.aaji kali bada kharap din chaluche mor, ke jane kana heba. dekhun,sabu jaldi se thik thak hei jaita bele aram milta.sala aur eena rahebar iccha nai na, jentei sentei kari eenu palabar ache.bahut faltu jaga aaye, kejane eenar log mane kenta rahesan.kali ka tike barsa hela bele aaji tike pag ta thik thak ache , nai hele jen garam heuche je nai kaha na.

baki pare ka aur fer lekhmi, haan jadi eeta padhucha bele kichi lekhba ee post bisaya re, je kenta lagla sambalpuri padhi kari :)

Bata Re Chalu Chalu

2005-06-10T11:23:00.000+05:30

Bata re chalu chalu kebe kiye dekha hue sabu mane rahe na
kichi loka kichi chehra,haye, kichi loka kichi chehra mane rahe kebe bhuli hue na.......

aakhi ra jharaka dei jane chali aase
hrudaya duara kholi dheere dheere pase
rahu rahu rahijaye ajana athithi
ajana achina hue jevana ra sathi
rati re soye soye aakhi dekhe kete swapna sabu mane rahe na
kichi rati kichi swapna, haye......... kichi rati kichi swapna mane rahe kebe bhuli hue na

sabu jhiyanka bhida re bhala lage jane
ee aakhi bhida bheetare khojuthaye jane
abujha pagala mana karana khoje na
janaku se bhala paye kahine ke jane na
eemiti chota bada kete je ghatana ghate , sabu mane rahe na
kichi katha kichi anubhuti , haye.... kichi katha kichi anubhuti , mane rahe kebe bhuli hue na

Bata re chalu chalu kebe kiye dekha hue sabu mane rahe na
kichi loka kichi chehra,haye........... kichi loka kichi chehra mane rahe kebe bhuli hue na.......

Birthday vs Date of Birth

2005-06-09T13:57:00.000+05:30

This is becoming a big issue for me,well not that big, but ab lagta hai ke muje iska kuch karna chaiye.So first things first.This may sound silly , funny or whatever you say, but I don't know my Birthday.I have an official Date of Birth which is there in certificates which is not the original. And I never tried to find out what's my birthday.And the problem is in our traditional calender my birthday changes every year.Again it may sound funny,but thats how it is.So when anyone asks whats your birthday, I just tell them that I dont know.

Now after interacting with a few souls who have a tendency to know the sun signs and stuff like that,they have asked hajaar times to tell them my birthday, so that they can find out my sun sign and know what kind of person I am.If someone can tell my sun sign by my personality then plz tell me.Some even asked me to ask my mom abt my birthday.Now this is slisha odd for me.She will think that, itne sal ho gaye isne nahi pucha aur abhi birthday kyun puch raha hai. Jaror koi ladki ka chakkar hai and he wants to know all those sun sign and future prediction stuff, which I never believe.

So friends kabhi mujse mera birthday mat puchna.Aur ho sake to muje mera sun sign bata do :)

Finally it rained a lil bit in Chennai

2005-06-08T19:30:00.000+05:30

Finally there is some relief from the hot chennai garmi.The weather today was cloudy in the evening and it rained a few drops also.It was hi funda in the swimming pool , with lights and a few drops here and there.I hope this stays there for a few more days.There is a plan for a movie today, lets see, either its D or Kingdom Of Heaven.Last time I went for a movie i crashed after 20 minutes.It was Star Wars.But its raining, can't go for movie. Its Peace . Paise bach gaye :)

Cold Temperature & Relativity

2005-06-03T14:50:00.000+05:30

Its chilly.Every where there is ice, white ice, on dry branches on roof tops. Just five of us are sitting there , having beer. Suddenly one walks towards a basement, where a lift like structure is there. I follow him curiously. He goes inside and there he finds steel rods, all in a zig-zag fashion leading to space. He starts climbing slowly. As he keeps climbing gradually the temperature starts droping, its freezing, but he still keeps climbing, after a long time suddenly the air sucks him up. He starts moving upwards fast, so fast that may be he reaches escape velociy. I have no idea whats happening. One more guy goes inside, and he also climbs the steel rods, the temperature gradually decreases, but he goes in a wrong path. After a long time nothing as such happens like going up ward. Suddenly he falls towards the ground, so fast that he is helpless.Finally he comes to the ground, totally unconsious. I had to pull him out of the basement and he breaths some fresh air. He tells the funda that when you go in the right path, it becomes very cold and in this kind of cold atmosphere when you reach the escape velociy then you defy age. Some funda about relativity which I also didnt understand. Finally I decide to go inside the basement and I start climbing the steel rods. They are shining like swords.I climb fast and I could feel the cold temperature. Gradually the temperature starts decreasing, its becoming freezing.I still continue climbing and suddenly the phenomena happenes. I see bright light and suddenly i get sucked up in the air. Actually there is no more air after a few seconds and I have reached a velocity which i dont have any control over. I am moving so fast in such a cold situation. Its thrilling and so exciting ....and.... and

Knock knock knock. . . . . . . whats that sound. . . . . .I wake up and open the door. Its finger standing outside my room.I thought he will ask for toothpaste ,but this time he has to work on my comp.Just a few more seconds and I would have defied age :)

Welcome to My Real World

2005-06-02T11:45:00.000+05:30

Dawn to Dusk the sky changes from Fresh, Bright to Soothing, from melting the morning dew on the tip of a green leaf, fusion with the blue sky so instantanious to the breeze of an soothing evening, wind blowing past my face, psychedelicaly reminding me to forget everything that exists in this world, beyond this world, where no one exits, not even me, where the feel, the touch, the vision are superficial, time and space are stagnant, contained in a single drop, yet inside so vast that I am searching beyond infinity, so complex yet so simple. . . . . . . .

Welcome to the Real World